Staying Positive in Times of Rejection

I am back in Utah now, and it seems that Fall suddenly happened while I was away. having grown up in San Francisco, I’m not very accustomed to seasons. It blows me away how suddenly the landscape can change and how aware we can become that time is moving forward, often urging us to rethink our direction in life.

A new path I’m currently pursuing is finding a part time job here in Salt Lake City while I work on my passion projects.

I’ve found it disheartening to either not hear back from some places, or to feel like there are slim pickings in terms of the types of jobs I actually want, and those that pay decently. I’m not usually the type to be discouraged, since I often try to look at the bright-side of things, so this disappointment hasn’t been an easy feeling to digest.

With that, I am reminded to be extra gentle with myself and to trust in the universe. Rejection, though oftentimes painful, is an opportunity to have faith in your unique path. When I don’t get that one job I wanted, I think: There is another one out there I’m supposed to have (possibly an even better one!) and some great people I am bound to meet. I just have to be patient and have faith.

Today I was actually offered a decent position and became aware of another one I could pursue, too. The key is to stay open, flexible and optimistic. And if you really really want something, rejection can be a way of testing that desire + your determination to push forward and try again.

How do you handle rejection & what are some ways to deal with it that feel more positive for you?

Would love to hear your thoughts. You can email me or find me on insta @gabrielammelgar anytime.

Examining Worry

Sometimes I worry that I’ll end up unsuccessful and broke. Do I really believe that? No; but I’m programmed to think worry is a natural reaction to the uncertainties of being an entrepreneur.

I grew up with a single mother, who–naturally, worried and stressed about money, and with a grandmother who achieved financial security through hard work and controlled spending. I learned that to be a responsible, safe adult, I have to have a reliable source of income, save, and spend sparingly.

Quite frankly, I’m doing the opposite of that right now. I don’t know when or how my next earnings will show up, and I’m living off savings to invest time on pursuing my dreams. Nothing is certain, except for the faith I have in myself, which can sometimes feel…odd.

Anybody else in my shoes would be worried, I sometimes think; so I let the worry creep in in order to feel “normal.” During these moments, I worry about how my business will pan out, if I’m spending too much, and whether I’m crazy.

But, I’m beginning to realize that the worry isn’t even mine. I’ve taken on the worry that my family feels, and the worry I assume a normal person in my situation would feel.

It reminds me of when I decided to move to Vietnam for a year. I’d never been before and I didn’t speak any Vietnamese, so when I told people about my plans to move there, some reacted surprised and concerned. They expected me to be scared, but I wasn’t. I had faith in myself.

Was I crazy, then? I’d question. Maybe I should be scared, I thought, so I tried it on. I told someone I was scared about my move just to see how the words felt, and they responded, “I’d be worried if you weren’t.”

Maybe we live in a world that’s more understanding of worry and fear versus faith and belief in ourselves. From my experience, one is more normal than the other.

I’m learning to own my faith and use it as a critical tool in moving forward with my goals. I have to accept that I may be misunderstood in that, and that sometimes others will express their loving concerns; but I don’t have to take on their doubts as my own. If to them it means I’m living in the clouds, so be it. Life’s more fun up here, where anything is possible.

Motivational Tips for Dream Chasers

Chasing your dreams isn’t always rosy or easy. Sure, the ride is exhilarating and energizing when done right, but there are bound to be days when you may question what you’re doing and want to give up.

First of all, give yourself a pat on the back. Whether you’re an entrepreneur, artist/creator or just a badass whose paving their own way, you are choosing the road less traveled, and that’s something to be proud of.

Here’s a list of essential habits I’ve found to be helpful in order to stay focused and inspired throughout the grind:

Eat Well + Get a Good-Night’s Sleep: Ok, I know it’s obvious, but it can’t be left unsaid. Taking care of our bodies is essential whilst hustling. As creators, our livelihood and ability to give and inspire depends on our health.
Find a Morning Routine that Works for You: It’s taken some experimenting to figure out what lights me up in the morning, but I’ve found that incorporating a walk, meditation and journaling after waking relaxes me for whatever the day has in store. Sometimes, if I wake up anxious or stressed about my long to-do list, journaling helps me vent those emotions out. Meditation allows me the space to be still before working a full day, and walking is just a good, low-key exercise under some sunshine and fresh air. I encourage you to experiment with habits that make you feel great at the start of each day.
Immerse Yourself in Inspiration: Another part of my morning routine is to listen to podcasts on my walk, particularly of successful female entrepreneurs. It’s not just about the useful content. The important thing is to remind myself that there are other people who have successfully accomplished some of my own goals and dreams. It reminds me that it’s not impossible, and that there are kindred souls out there. You are not alone on this journey.
Set a Schedule: This one was a game changer for me. I used to take my business tasks day by day and just try to run through a long, mixed to-do list. Now, I set specific days of the week for specific tasks. For example, Mondays are reserved for admin and organizational tasks while Thursdays I film videos. That way, I’m immersed in a particular head space each day which keeps me in flow and increases my productivity.
Visualize and Talk About Your Goals: Frequently fantasizing about and seeing my desired future career and lifestyle gives me fuel to continue hustling. I like creating vision boards where I post photos of my dreams so I can have daily reminders of what awaits me if I keep working hard. Similarly, you can journal about your goals or listen to guided visualization meditations. Talking about those dreams with supportive loved ones will hold you accountable. You’re less likely to abandon a goal if you’ve told someone else about it.

I hope these simple steps can help propel you forward in your very own, dream-chasing journey.

“An Open Letter to Your Future Self”

Yesterday I looked up some writing prompts to keep the blogging momentum going and came across one that struck out to me: “Write an open letter to your future self.”

I can see why this assignment was enticing. I spend so much time focused on my goals and dreams, visualizing all the success I desire and the type of woman I want to become. My future-self is undeniably alluring. She’s her own boss, a public figure of sorts, a writer, fashionista, and traveler. She’s wealthy–not just financially, but she’s full of purpose, joy, laughter, and creativity. She’s a powerhouse, and someone I find refuge in as I work diligently to turn my dreams into reality.

My letter started out like this:

Dear Gaby,

I dream of you often. I have these grand impressions of you and everything you’ll accomplish. Even if no one else can see you or understand you, my faith in you is unwavering. There’s no way for me to know how I’ll get to where you are, but I believe that little by little, the pieces will come together, and that the ride is bound to be epic.

Lately I’ve been working hard at ensuring that you become a reality. Each day I take small steps towards growing my brand and business and each day I take the opportunity to develop and learn as a person.

Midway through the letter, I had a thought: I could’ve written the same letter to this current version of myself as a sixteen year old, sitting in her bedroom at night, feeling like the whole world was ahead of her.

I thought about what I wanted for my future-self as a teen that I currently have: a place of my own, a partner, a dog, and lots of travel under my belt.

I took a rare moment to acknowledge how far I’ve come and all the decisions I’ve made to manifest that vision. Time and time again, I’ve listened to that rumbling heart of mine despite the risk. Time and time again, I’ve put myself first.

I think about the woman I want to become. She has some experiences I have yet to attain, like living in New York City and Portugal, writing a couple books, and owning a walk-in closet 😉

Those desires are so valuable; they’re glimpses into what my soul wants to experience this time around. And though I intend to go forth in my attainment of them, I cannot lose sight of the unfolding process and the milestones I’ve already reached.

I am the woman I so wish to become. Het tenacity, wisdom and drive, is already here.