This Etch in Time

Hi friends,
Happy May! We made it through April, and I know for many of us it wasn’t easy. The weather has significantly improved in Salt Lake, renewing me with more vitality and optimism than before (thank God). Spring is lush and almost fully actualized. Signs of forward movement are popping up here and there. Businesses in the city have started to re-open, and work in NY may start sooner than I anticipated…
While a lot still remains uncertain, I can’t help but feel that a potential ending to this chapter is near? Which makes me hesitate at the thought of returning to life as normal. Some of the hesitation regards anxieties about public health, some of it is about the flawed normalcy of our society, and some is about losing my personal freedom over time.
I feel extremely blessed for the outpouring of time I received through this quarantine. I know that everybody’s situation was different. Some might’ve been busier than normal, some continued to work, some had families to take care of, etc. But I am grateful to have received that which I was so deeply needing — rest, and renewal, time to be and play and go inwards, inwards, and more inwards. I excavated some old wounds, brought some healing upon them, spent time doodling, writing and making art for myself.
I felt a freedom similar to that of summers as a kid. Months that seemed to stretch on forever, days fading into one another with no sense of order. It’s ironic that within all the limits of this quarantine the word that keeps resonating with me is freedom.
How I was able to find that within the portals of the mind. By letting go of expectations, demands, and through lots of self-compassion.
And as terrifying as it sometimes was to be left with myself, to work through anxiety, and trauma from the past, I will hold what came out of this tenderly.
I just wanted to share a token of gratitude for this strange chapter and what it taught me. For allowing myself to melt into one day and the next, for being messy and untethered, for crying tears of joy, for marveling at the beauty of a tree on my walks around the neighborhood.
This etch in time has bound itself to me forever, like the scars on my legs; each with a story to tell.
xxGabriela

Spring is Coming

I’m taking it way easy this Monday. Today, I woke up and decided to finally book a massage, take a walk, and catch up with a friend before beginning the weekly grind.

It’s funny what a different mental space I’m in than the previous week. If you caught last week’s newsletter, I expressed how much stress I was under because I’d created so many tasks for myself, expecting to be some sort of productivity machine.

Reflecting on the expectations I had for myself and whether they were fair or not allowed me to let go of a lot of pressure, and ease into a lighter week ahead by removing the tasks that could wait.

Despite still being “busy,” and having certain things to do, I feel so much lighter without the stress. I’m focusing on one task at a time, trusting that it will all get done, and stopping to rest when needed. I am supporting my mental (and physical) health in this time of transition, and encourage you to check in with yourself when needed, as well.

Speaking of transitions, it finally feels like spring is near in Salt Lake City. Today was the warmest day I’ve experienced in months. The sky was bright blue, and the wind had the perfect type of cool that makes you feel awake.

It was incredible how much Happier I felt stepping out. Sometimes it can feel like winter will last forever, and with that, the visiting lethargy and gloom. But hang in there. Whether you’re feeling uncomfortably cold, or are going through an emotionally tough patch, each new day can surprise you with a change in weather, mood, or perspective.

Spring is coming!

Gabriela