Spring is Coming

I’m taking it way easy this Monday. Today, I woke up and decided to finally book a massage, take a walk, and catch up with a friend before beginning the weekly grind.

It’s funny what a different mental space I’m in than the previous week. If you caught last week’s newsletter, I expressed how much stress I was under because I’d created so many tasks for myself, expecting to be some sort of productivity machine.

Reflecting on the expectations I had for myself and whether they were fair or not allowed me to let go of a lot of pressure, and ease into a lighter week ahead by removing the tasks that could wait.

Despite still being “busy,” and having certain things to do, I feel so much lighter without the stress. I’m focusing on one task at a time, trusting that it will all get done, and stopping to rest when needed. I am supporting my mental (and physical) health in this time of transition, and encourage you to check in with yourself when needed, as well.

Speaking of transitions, it finally feels like spring is near in Salt Lake City. Today was the warmest day I’ve experienced in months. The sky was bright blue, and the wind had the perfect type of cool that makes you feel awake.

It was incredible how much Happier I felt stepping out. Sometimes it can feel like winter will last forever, and with that, the visiting lethargy and gloom. But hang in there. Whether you’re feeling uncomfortably cold, or are going through an emotionally tough patch, each new day can surprise you with a change in weather, mood, or perspective.

Spring is coming!

Gabriela

When the Plate Gets Too Heavy

A heavy chest. Heart beats rushing one after the other. Knots at my back and neck. Irritability.

This is how stress manifests itself in me. And when these symptoms begin, I know something’s got to give.

Right now, there’s a lot on my plate. In about two weeks, I’ll be leaving to train for a new career. (I wish I could disclose more about this, but I can’t just yet). I have a long list of to-do’s, and lots of homework on top of it. Plus, I wanted to create enough podcasts + content so that I could guarantee my creative work wouldn’t fall to the wayside during the eight weeks I’m gone.

But this was all too much for me to worry about at once, on top of all the regular life things and chores.

I needed to look at my plate clearly, and see what I could afford to take off. What helped with this process was to talk it out with my partner. I listed the things that were stressing me out — all those tasks I felt needed to absolutely get done beforehand, and he reminded me that I was putting a lot of pressure on myself.

This is a habit which often leads to stress — setting the expectations and the bar so high for yourself that it’s too exhausting to reach. I needed to accept that if I were to set out and do ALL these things, I would likely end up drained and sick.

I had to prioritize what TRULY needed to get done, which was preparing for my departure and getting all my homework completed. As soon as I decided to release the expectations that I would create all this content before leaving, I felt so much lighter. My list was now doable and felt spacious — like there was actually enough time to get it all done AND properly rest.

Though it isn’t ideal (I would love to have it ALL DONE), it is an act of self-love to hone in on the expectations set for yourself, and make sure that you’re getting enough rest, feeling good, and not drowning in all the self-imposed work.

So, remember that if you too, are feeling stress and overwhelm, you may have more choice than you currently believe about what stays on your plate, and what you can afford to let go of—for now.

Have an awesome week,

Gabriela

Reasons to Love or Hate a Place

Good Morning, Friends!

It’s a beautiful morning in Salt Lake City. The snow really came down last night and the trees and houses are lined white and glittering in the sunlight.

It’s views like this that make me appreciate it here, because—it truly is beautiful.

Living here though, (and living anywhere, really) is not always easy. From my experience residing in various cities and countries, each place comes with a list of pros and cons.

The other day, I found my frustrations with Salt Lake City growing. I didn’t feel free here because I don’t own a car and am nervous about driving.

It was easy to get around San Francisco (I didn’t even get my license until I was 26). But relying on the bus, my legs (and the occasional uber and lyft) to get me places here is not always easy (or cheap) —specially in the winter.

The other night I missed my bus stop on my way home from work, and was dropped off about a mile away at the next stop. I was bummed, hungry, and freezing, when I saw a Sonics at the corner of the street.

I thought, “this is the time to get some fast food guilt-free.” To my horror, it was solely a drive-through Sonics (are all Sonics like that? Idk) There was no option to order or eat inside, because the small building at the center of the lot was for employees only.

So, I had to stand next to one of the ordering kiosks outside, and yell out my order while it was 20 something degrees out. I must admit, it was pretty funny and I even made an instagram story about it. I had to laugh at the situation a little.

After my order came out, my hands were awkwardly full, when a man approached me and asked me for some money. I offered him a dollar, but was seriously struggling to reach into my bag to grab it. His friend noticed my struggle, and came by to dismiss me, ordering, “You go on home now with your bags. We don’t need your dollar!” as they walked back to their car.

I dropped some of my food in the snow as I waddled out of there, and by the time I got home my fingers were burning from the cold and I was genuinely concerned I might get frost bite?

It was one of those days that made me hate Salt Lake City. Walking home I went through a long list of reasons not to like it here. There’s no proper public transportation, the streets are too long, it revolves around car culture, State St. is so sketchy, there’s no good affordable food etc.

All this to demonstrate that if you’re looking for reasons to hate a place, or a situation, it is so easy to come up with them! I even kept going with my list until the next day, and let me tell you—it ruined that day, too.

The good news is, it can be just as easy to find things to love about a place or situation. If you think you can’t, start very small and watch that list grow and grow.

Things I love about Salt Lake: How there’s usually parking when we go out, the spaciousness of it, the cute little coffee and retail shops a couple blocks away, the epic mountains, the proximity to beautiful nature, my lovely neighbors, our cute house, etc.

I usually choose to see the good in things, and practice gratitude on a daily basis, but I also fall prey to negative thinking and frustration. And that’s when I have to check myself and adjust my perspective.

In this situation, I also evaluated what was in my control and what wasn’t. I can’t control the transportation system here, but I can adapt by driving. I started practicing again yesterday, and it wasn’t as scary as I thought it would be. It was actually pretty fun when I released the resistance to it. I can already feel how it will drastically change my experience here.

When in Salt Lake, do as the Salt Lakers do.

Prayer

I didn’t think I’d be writing about this topic—today, if at all. When you see the word “prayer” you may instinctively think, “religion,” which I understand is a weary subject for some. I get it. But this isn’t about that. This is about: surrender.

How much of your day to you attempt to control? How much of your life? I know I try and control most aspects of my life: from my morning routine, to the work I’m going to get done that day, my meals, my relationship, my thoughts and feelings, the fruition of my dreams…It can be overwhelming and exhausting, especially when things don’t go my way.

Lately what I’ve been doing with that overwhelm, is surrendering it. I do that by praying each morning. I light a candle, get down on my knees, and start off by thanking God/The Universe for all the great things I have going in life. I like to start off with gratitude because it makes me feel full, and reminds me that I’ve got more good things going than “bad” ones.

Then, I pray for help with whatever I’m struggling with and for the ability to stay present. I also ask God/The Universe to show me how I can best be of service that day. (Maybe I’ll write about this another time, but thinking about how you can help others and serve is a sure way to get out of your own head).

This new routine of mine has already created positive shifts in my day to day. When I pray I feel as if I’ve actually let go of some of the burden of doing it all on my own, and that I am being assisted and guided throughout the day. It’s a reminder that I’m constantly being heard and supported.

I was inspired to share this when I finished my prayer this morning and

thought it might be helpful for any of you that may be struggling to hold everything down on your own.

Remember that you can also pray in whatever way you feel comfortable. You can pray through a chant or a song. You can do it as you’re walking, or driving. You can make a little altar to pray to if you’d like, or just write down what you need help with; whatever floats your boat.

I think the important thing is to communicate with a higher power or your inner-guidance and to ask for help, or even just let it know what you’re thankful for.

art blur bright candlelight — Photo by Hakan Erenler on Pexels.com

The Power of a Gratitude List

Each morning in my journal, I write a “gratitude list.” I write down: I am grateful for… whatever it is that day. Often times, it’s my lovely little house, my partner, the kindness of someone that day, some unexpected savings or income, something wonderful I ate, a lovely conversation. It can be something big, or small. When I write this list I am thankful. I realize that I have absolutely everything I need and more. I have a BIG life, and so do you. My burdens and worries become less significant. I know there is more good than bad. Our minds often focus on lack and the “problems” that plague us. Writing this gratitude list every morning takes me out of that problematic mindset and puts me into the energy of love and abundance as I feel into that everything is going to be okay vibration. Because everything has always and always will be Okay.

Staying Positive in Times of Rejection

I am back in Utah now, and it seems that Fall suddenly happened while I was away. having grown up in San Francisco, I’m not very accustomed to seasons. It blows me away how suddenly the landscape can change and how aware we can become that time is moving forward, often urging us to rethink our direction in life.

A new path I’m currently pursuing is finding a part time job here in Salt Lake City while I work on my passion projects.

I’ve found it disheartening to either not hear back from some places, or to feel like there are slim pickings in terms of the types of jobs I actually want, and those that pay decently. I’m not usually the type to be discouraged, since I often try to look at the bright-side of things, so this disappointment hasn’t been an easy feeling to digest.

With that, I am reminded to be extra gentle with myself and to trust in the universe. Rejection, though oftentimes painful, is an opportunity to have faith in your unique path. When I don’t get that one job I wanted, I think: There is another one out there I’m supposed to have (possibly an even better one!) and some great people I am bound to meet. I just have to be patient and have faith.

Today I was actually offered a decent position and became aware of another one I could pursue, too. The key is to stay open, flexible and optimistic. And if you really really want something, rejection can be a way of testing that desire + your determination to push forward and try again.

How do you handle rejection & what are some ways to deal with it that feel more positive for you?

Would love to hear your thoughts. You can email me or find me on insta @gabrielammelgar anytime.

Examining Worry

Sometimes I worry that I’ll end up unsuccessful and broke. Do I really believe that? No; but I’m programmed to think worry is a natural reaction to the uncertainties of being an entrepreneur.

I grew up with a single mother, who–naturally, worried and stressed about money, and with a grandmother who achieved financial security through hard work and controlled spending. I learned that to be a responsible, safe adult, I have to have a reliable source of income, save, and spend sparingly.

Quite frankly, I’m doing the opposite of that right now. I don’t know when or how my next earnings will show up, and I’m living off savings to invest time on pursuing my dreams. Nothing is certain, except for the faith I have in myself, which can sometimes feel…odd.

Anybody else in my shoes would be worried, I sometimes think; so I let the worry creep in in order to feel “normal.” During these moments, I worry about how my business will pan out, if I’m spending too much, and whether I’m crazy.

But, I’m beginning to realize that the worry isn’t even mine. I’ve taken on the worry that my family feels, and the worry I assume a normal person in my situation would feel.

It reminds me of when I decided to move to Vietnam for a year. I’d never been before and I didn’t speak any Vietnamese, so when I told people about my plans to move there, some reacted surprised and concerned. They expected me to be scared, but I wasn’t. I had faith in myself.

Was I crazy, then? I’d question. Maybe I should be scared, I thought, so I tried it on. I told someone I was scared about my move just to see how the words felt, and they responded, “I’d be worried if you weren’t.”

Maybe we live in a world that’s more understanding of worry and fear versus faith and belief in ourselves. From my experience, one is more normal than the other.

I’m learning to own my faith and use it as a critical tool in moving forward with my goals. I have to accept that I may be misunderstood in that, and that sometimes others will express their loving concerns; but I don’t have to take on their doubts as my own. If to them it means I’m living in the clouds, so be it. Life’s more fun up here, where anything is possible.

Battling Doubt

Thursday was my day to make Youtube videos, except I didn’t feel like it. I had a plan set out for it and everything: to do a live and continue my “Tea Time Thursdays” series I only started a couple weeks ago, as well to record a second video.

Instead, I spent most of the day strolling through Millcreek, just south of Salt Lake, enticed by a new age store I discovered walking to an appointment. Inside, I purchased a shiny blue-purple stone called Peacock Ore which was said to, “enhance inner knowing and strengthen perception.” Though I was instinctively attracted to its beauty, I realized I could use some of its healing powers, too.

I’d been feeling doubtful of some of the new directions I was going with my business, like broadening my coaching niche, focusing on new projects, and this desire to break from making Youtube videos, or at least, wanting to loosen the pressure on myself to create them. I wanted to figure out whether or not these changes were wise.

A part of me scorned my lack of consistency (in life, business, and now, Youtube). This part insisted Youtube was my ticket to building a greater audience and success in my business. Plus, I’d told my subscribers I’d be making two videos per week in attempt to motivate myself. This felt like the thing I was “supposed” to do.

Yet, just the thought of making a video felt like work in a way that new projects didn’t.

I was confused on how to move forward with this dilemma. Should I continue making Youtube videos for the sake of consistency, or move on to shiny new things?

There were two opinions in me, battling it out, so I decided to bring this inner-dialogue to life through writing.

I took out my journal and told each side they had equal time and space to say whatever they needed to, without judgement. On one corner, we had what I perceived to be “the voice of logic,” the pro-Youtube/consistency one, and on the other side we had what I called “airy intuition”– the flighty, creative, and idealistic part of me who wants to do everything on my terms and with joy.

Logic said this: You’re going to abandon Youtube? That’s where your audience lives. That is the platform with the most promise to you. What’s your mom going to say? You look like a flake, jumping from one thing to the next. How are you going to grow a business with all this flakiness? Barely anyone reads your blog anyways.

Then, there was the counterargument.

Airy intuition: I am not a “flake.” I am not giving up on my business. I am simply taking it in a new direction that feels good to me. I have been pretty consistent with my blog and super excited about the new projects coming up. I got this! This doesn’t have to mean that I’m giving up on Youtube forever. It simply means most of my content building is going in a new direction. Those that roll with me will roll with this new direction, too. There’s a reason I’m not as interested in Youtube right now, and that’s okay.

I learned that what I had deemed as the voice of “logic” was more like an inner-critic. It was doubtful and scared of my new choices. It brought up what my mom might think and what I would be perceived as by others. “Flakiness” was thrown out a couple times, and it seemed angry at me for continually changing and trying new things.

On the other hand, “airy intuition” was not totally “airy” after all. She had some solid, reasonable points for why I wasn’t a flake and stood firm by my choices. Not only that, but she was encouraging, and seemed to come from a place of belief in myself.

It was eye-opening to see this dialogue on paper. I understood that the resistance towards moving in newer, more exciting directions in my business was coming from a place of fear and self-criticism, and that although I could make space for that opinion to speak, I didn’t have to succumb to it. Instead, I could expand my attention towards the “airy intuition” voice and harness that belief in myself and the bravery to follow my highest excitement.

Applying This Technique To Your Journey

This inner-dialogue journaling tool can be used whenever your in the midst of a tricky decision, are feeling self-doubt, or just need to untangle your thought process around a certain topic. You’ll be surprised at what you discover when you make space for the parts of yourself, and listen.