On Being Yourself

“To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else — means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.”

— E.E.Cummings

Lately I’ve been thinking about authenticity, and becoming aware of the many ways in which I personally struggle with letting myself be myself. What do we really mean when we talk about being ourselves, anyways?

I’ve learned it’s a myriad of things, among those: expressing our personalities, living out our values and manifesting our creativity. But also, being true to who we are on a moment-to-moment basis by listening to our intuition, our bodies, and emotions. We’re constantly evolving, therefore being ourselves can mean something different today than it was yesterday, or even an hour ago.

It’s such an irony, that like E.E. Cummings said — being ourselves is one of the hardest things we’ll ever do. It seems so simple, yet there are many ways we’re constantly trying to fit into a box, and play by rules we never consciously chose.

Some of these rules may aim to define what happiness and success means to us, how to achieve it, or how we should go about spending our time. Though we’re not really taught to, we’re allowed to reject what seems to be the “norm” and make our own rules about anything, honoring who we are and what we want. One of my rules is: I will not work 40 hours per week unless it’s towards my own business. It’s a standard that’s true to my love for personal time and creativity.

Still, I struggle sometimes with paving my own path towards success in different arenas, using my values, personality, and intuition to dictate how I accomplish certain goals.

I recently enrolled in a Youtube course to grow my channel and wanted to spend a majority of the day going through the lessons and coming up with an idea for a video. The course teaches that video topics should be based on what our ideal audience is searching for, and suggests that we post videos consistently, ideally on the same day each week.

It’s counter-intuitive for me because my work is based on personal experiences (not searchability), and I’m accustomed to creating spur of the moment, without sticking to a schedule. Already I felt my creativity stifled by these rules, though I pushed through, trying to stay open to the suggestions of an expert.

Later on, I still had no idea what my next video would be on, and was frustrated with myself at not being able to play by these rules. Not only that, but I was incredibly bored. A part of me just wanted to play.

Wait up, I thought. What’s the point of the projects I work on? (My youtube videos, this newsletter, courses etc). To have fun! Because they bring joy to my life and enrich my experience. The point is not: to force myself to do something I don’t want to do, or to feel bored and stressed.

I am not going to make myself create on a schedule when it doesn’t feel good or isn’t fun, I told myself. And just like that, I had made my own rule to play by.

I’ve consumed my fair share of courses, books, webinars, and even had a business coach on the path to up-leveling my life and creating a business. I’m constantly downloading information on what I should do and how I should be — these prescribed formulas for success. And yesterday I had this moment of being fed up by it. Not necessarily by the well-meaning advice (which has oftentimes helped), but by the bypassing of my own intuition and desires on how I want to go about creating success.

The how you walk your path, is an opportunity to be unapologetically yourself. Listening to that voice within that sometimes whispers and sometimes screams. It’s trusting in yourself above all, and believing that your own nature knows the way.

You can be wildly yourself and still find what you were looking for. In fact, I think that’s the answer after all.

Align to That Which You Seek

Today I’d like to invite you to challenge the way you were taught to seek happiness, or whatever feeling it is you desire to find.

We grew up believing that we needed things, experiences, accomplishments, and even people to make us feel happy, validated, and complete. We chased titles/careers, material wealth, and relationships only to find another ladder to climb at the end of each goal completed. Have you noticed that the seeking never really ends? You can get what you really wanted and shortly after, feel like there’s something else to reach for in order to be fully satisfied.

Becoming a flight attendant was a goal I really wanted to accomplish not too long ago. I begged the universe to help me land this opportunity and worked my butt off preparing for the interviews. I thought this job would be the perfect addition to my life; that I would no longer feel “lost,” or “stuck” and be set free with the opportunity to travel.

Yet, once I got it, it was entirely too easy to focus on the problems and difficulties within the industry. That “stuck” feeling continued to haunt me despite having obtained what I thought was the answer. I felt confined by my schedule and all the time away from home, and when I was in a place I really enjoyed, it was tainted with the sadness of having to leave shortly after.

These were some of the reasons not to be happy yet. And that’s when I realized I was in a perpetual state of suffering: always wanting more or something different in order to feel free.

Freedom is one of my most important values, the motivation behind so many life decisions, and what I always seem to be chasing.

But I decided that if I were to lead a fulfilled life, I would have to put an end to the never-ending chase and tap into all the ways that I’m already free. A.k.a.“align with the vibration of freedom.” When I talk about aligning to a vibration, what I mean is getting into the state of your desired feeling, in order to attract that which we want in life (Law of Attraction).

I pulled out my journal and started a list of different ways I’m free, discovering so much I’d taken for granted. I’m free to consume the books/films/music I choose; I’m free to dress how I want, I’m free to journal and mediate, I’m free to laugh and play. On a larger scale, I have total creative freedom (like writing this newsletter and making videos) which is so so valuable to me. Plus my job does allow me to travel and see the people I love around the world, which is the closest thing to teleporting I can get right now.

I was so taken aback by the incredible amount of ways I’m already free. I sat with that appreciation and let it light me up. It felt like I could finally ease into the adventure of this very moment. I could finally perceive how everything was flowing naturally and working out for me.

Since then, my attitude towards work has totally changed and in turn, I’m having more fun on a daily basis. I am finally sitting back, enjoying the journey, and appreciating the gifts picked up along the way.

It’s human to have this insatiable thirst for more; to believe that something else has the key to our happiness and completion. But as we grow, we learn to find that which we seek is already in our hands. We have the power of emotion and of perception, which once cultivated and tweaked can shape how we experience our reality.

And in my reality, I am finally free. How about yours?

Creative Blocks and Comparison

Hey friends:

I’m back with a topic for my fellow creators and creatives out there who may be feeling blocked or weighed down from the pressure to create.

Recently I experienced a lot of internal pressure to write, to make videos etc. for the sake of consistency, and fueled by comparison. There are people online who I follow and admire that constantly create and it’s so easy to feel like I’m falling short sometimes when I compare myself. My body and mind truly needed rest after working so much, and I was having trouble admitting that some days are better than others when it comes to creativity and productivity and that I have my own process and journey to go through when it comes to creating that can’t be compared.

If you can relate and struggle with some of the same things, I made a video yesterday that covers how we can move through feeling stuck in our creative blocks, embrace the process and honor our own individual methods and ways of creating.

You can check it out here:

I’m happy to report that I’m more inspired and in flow now because I gave myself the time to feel, to introspect and to share the lessons learned without overthinking it.

Hope it’s helpful, I would love to hear your thoughts on this topic!

Love,

Gabriela

What is Self-Care?

I am so happy to be writing from home! These past couple weeks have been insane with “summer flying.” I’d been warned about how busy the airline industry could get during the summer but I was not mentally prepared for all the reroutes and fast pace of things.

It’s so good to finally have moments to sit back and breathe. To enjoy the comforts of home (particularly the couch) and to check in with myself. I am intently focused on self-care during these few days of rest.

Yesterday my partner and I melted into the couch and today I have a little spa day planned. Not only that, but I also booked a psychic reading with someone I found through a podcast.

This got me thinking about self-care and what that really means. Self-care usually connotes images of women in face masks or getting massages, but there are so many other fun and creative ways that we can check in and take care of ourselves—physically, mentally, spiritually.

For me, today it means getting a psychic reading because it’s fun and it gives me spiritual direction.

Self-care could also mean taking the time out of the day to face time with good friends, getting lost in laughter and conversation, or driving to a random town for the hell of it.

Sometimes it’s not exciting per se, but it could be exactly what you need, like eating ice cream in the bath tub, or spending an entire day watching TV, letting your body fully relax and my mind drift for a while.

Sometimes it is more cliche for me— like getting my eyebrows and nails done so I can feel amazing on the inside and outside. (Personally, I’ve found a strong correlation between how I look and how I feel).

My point is: you get to decide what self care looks like for you and it’s important to take note of when you’re in dire need of it. Better yet, to recognize when you could use some lovin’ before you’re in serious need of it, and to incorporate it into some sort of routine. I know I need some attention when my body starts aching, my patience thins, and my mind falls down a negative spiral. It’s then that I know I have to make the time for myself and replenish.

What are your self-care methods? I would love to know! Respond back to this email or connect on instagram @gabrielammelgar

Love,

Gabriela

PS-

Last week I made a Youtube video titled “Surrender to a Bigger Plan.” It was inspired by reading “The Universe Has Your Back” & talks about how “surrendering” has created more peace and happiness in my life.

You can check it out here

I’m getting in the groove of creating weekly videos. If you’d like to subscribe, head to my youtube channel.

Beginner’s Mindset

Hey guys!

I recently felt inspired and made a Youtube video for the first time in 9 months.

I started a Youtube channel three years ago, while I was still living in Vietnam. At the time I was close to finishing my teaching contract and was unsure of what my next step in life would be, but was considering teaching in another country.

As part of my research I watched tons of videos about people’s experiences abroad to give me an idea of what living in other places might be like. It was then that I realized I had something to offer: my very own experience of Vietnam.

I didn’t have a proper camera, or a mic. I simply recorded on my laptop and spoke. Back then I didn’t even know how to edit videos, so I when I messed up the first couple minutes I had to start over again. After that I didn’t over think it, and just spoke about my experience. That video ended up being the most popular on my channel by far, with over 100k views to date.

Once I started to learn how to edit videos I got fancier with the quality and more demanding with myself about how they should look. Although I definitely had some fun creating them, they eventually started to feel like work. When I went back to basics, just me in front of the camera speaking my truth, I felt like it wasn’t good enough. I had so many mixed emotions about making videos. On one hand I had some success gaining viewers and subscribers and if felt rewarding to connect with others and create a video from start to finish. Yet, I was overly critical of myself which led me to “giving up” for some time. I figured if I I didn’t have the energy or will to do it near perfectly and consistently, I minus well not do it at all.

I happened to check on my channel the other day and noticed I had gained a number of new subscribers during my hiatus. It’s funny because I wasn’t trying to grow my channel, just as I had gone into my first video with zero expectation. I was inspired to go back to my beginner’s mindset and start over in a sense, without demanding too much of myself and having fun.

I was nervous at first, over thinking my words and stumbling over them. My perfectionist mind kept wanting to sound eloquent and hit all the points I was trying to make. It wasn’t polished but it came together after some editing. It was a step in the right direction because I finally put myself out there again in an imperfect way and with acceptance of that imperfection. I simply felt like sharing insights without demanding it look a certain way.

The video is titled “Goal Setting and Self Compassion” and hits on themes I’ve talked about in the last few Weekly Motivations, just expressed differently. If you’d like to check it out and/or subscribe to my channel head here.

What I’d like for you to take away from this is that if you feel like sharing something, making something or being something but are feeling stuck due to perfectionism and over thinking, bring back the curiosity and playfulness of doing it for the first time. Let go of your own demands and need for it to look a certain way, and trust the process. Focus on having fun and let the chips fall where they may. If you stumble like I did, take a deep breath and remind yourself that the world doesn’t need any more “perfect,” it needs more You, doing what you love.

What Is Abundance, Really?

Good evening, friends!

If you’re anything like me and consume media in the realm of self-development or spirituality, you’ve probably heard the word “abundance” thrown around a lot, sometimes in phrases such as “abundance mindset” or “living abundantly.” It typically refers to living a full, rich life surrounded (and in appreciation of) the things you love, rather than focusing on lack and what you don’t have.

Part of my own journey has been to create an abundant life for myself—to gift myself with all the experiences I desire, and to work towards a life that allows me the freedom to travel, eat well, and have plenty of fun.

I used to think that in order to make all those dreams come true, I would have to earn tons of money. Ironically, while trying to create “abundance,” I ended up feeling a lack of it when my desired income wasn’t reached.

My limited perception of abundance prevented me from appreciating all the blessings that had fallen into my life which hadn’t necessarily arrived in the form of money.

For example, I recently realized that one of my biggest dreams came true. I used to day dream about being able to walk into the airport and spontaneously travel to any destination I desired. I thought that in order for this to happen, I would have to be rich.

As a flight attendant, my company allows me to travel wherever they fly, either for free or at very little cost. I could literally do this whenever I have time. It blew my mind to really sit with that and appreciate it as a dream come true.

I already have so much of what I want and experience joy regularly without having met my “income goals.” What we truly want is usually a feeling rather than a thing. If I have joy, if I have love, and freedom and a passion for living (all the things I thought money would buy), then why limit myself to feeling abundant only when a certain amount of money is reached?

Abundance is all around us. In the greenness of leaves, in laughter, in the array of tastes we experience in the span of a day. You can find it in the smallest details or in the overwhelm of realizing that you are in a near perfect stage of your life.

If you ever feel down or stressed about money or whatever it is you “lack,” I encourage you to take equal amounts of time and energy into adding up all the little (and big) miracles, joys, pleasures, talents and gifts you’ve got going in your favor. Feel into the appreciation until your heart feels like it’ll burst. Do this as much as possible, as often as possible and tap into your wealth.

Love,

Gabriela

Protecting the Vibe

Hey lovelies:

Hope you’ve had a beautiful week thus far. I felt inspired to write the past few days because I’m coming to understand a lesson that is so vital, and which I wanted to share with you:

Things don’t have to align perfectly or according to plan in order for you to feel good.

My first month as a flight attendant has taught me a lot about protecting my energy regardless of circumstances. As exciting as it’s been, I’ve also experienced disappointment and frustration at times.

I love to travel and explore more than just about anything and of course that was a huge determinant for choosing this career. Ironically, I was assigned to work many “turns” the first month. A turn means I go somewhere and come right back, without stepping foot off the plane. Each time I was scheduled one of these, I felt my soul die a little.

I wanted so badly to see these destinations, to feel the freedom of walking through new streets, and take part in the adventure of new sights, smells and foods. I wanted to jump into this new career and experience as much as possible, as quickly as possible, but patience. is. a. virtue.

Anyways, last time I was assigned a turn to Honolulu and I’d been itching so bad to see Hawaii! Not only was I disappointment I wouldn’t explore—frankly, I was angry this would be something like a 14 hour day. In my mind I was clearly a victim to these unjust circumstances!

That morning though, I knew my attitude was setting me up to have a potentially terrible (long) day. I decided I was going to have fun at work regardless of where I was going. I put my make up on, felt extra cute and headed to the employee lounge to chill before my flight. I ended up meeting a genuinely kind and friendly man who’s been working as a flight attendant for thirty-something years.

That decision I made in the morning to feel good, plus the friendly conversation, created a snowball effect for the rest of the day. I was upbeat and extroverted when I met my crew and one of them said that man had told her she was going to love me. I just felt grateful.

Work was fun that day, and even when I was tired I had great conversation with the crew and appreciated the chillness of the passengers. Some would call this the law of attraction — your outer world reflects your inner vibration. So because I was in a space of joy, my day panned out smoothly and positively.

What was key in keeping my vibration high, was not getting bent up about things “not going my way” and deciding to have fun anyways. (Side note: I’m starting to think life is always going our way; it’s just our opinion of what “the way” should look like that’s causing frustration and pain).

Anyways, I’m still practicing “protecting my energy/vibe” day by day, specially when it comes to interacting with others. I realize how high I set the bar for people, even strangers. I often expect others to be very friendly, and when they’re not I have a negative reaction to it (another example of things “not going my way”).

When this happens, we can catch ourselves and become witnesses to our internal process. We can decide that our energy is too important and too special to be negatively affected by others or by situations outside of our control. It’s simply too volatile to constantly react.

Anytime throughout the day we can stop and remind ourselves of what we’d like to feel, and that we have the power to have fun, anyways.

Love,

Gabriela

“Your Worth is Not Measured by Your Productivity”

Hello friends,

It’s my pleasure to be writing this newsletter again. It’s been on the back of my mind for a while now. My new career as a flight attendant has taken center stage and I’m adjusting to this lifestyle change day by day. The newness of it all has been exhausting at times, and while home, I’ve spent countless of hours in bed, watching Game of Thrones. (I know, I’m still catching up!)

I’ve tackled with various emotions while being in “rest mode” ―sometimes feeling totally justified in taking the time off to completely relax, and other times not being able to let go of the list of things I “should” or “could” be doing instead. One of those being this newsletter.

The couple times I tried to start writing, my words felt lost and scrambled. I was frustrated at myself for not being able to accomplish this one task, and to let you down in a sense.

I’ve scrolled through Instagram and questioned how some of the people I look up to (coaches, entrepreneurs, spiritual teachers, artists) are seemingly so able to constantly create and finish their work; how they have mastered a state of flow that’s entirely elusive to me. I’ve compared myself and felt bad about where I am in my own journey― how far away my goals can sometimes feel. And I think: If only I could be consistent. If only I could DO MORE..

The more compassionate side of me advises towards self forgiveness and patience. It was not the right time to be writing, until now. My energy, my inspiration and creativity ebb and flow. Sometimes they are harder to grasp. Sometimes I will not live up to my own standards of productivity. I can work towards accepting that and championing the little successes I do have. Because they are enough. And if you feel this way too, you too―are enough.

I don’t have the answers on how to achieve that perfect state of flow, where you can seamlessly create and take every day actions towards your goals, but some advice I can give you is that it all gets better when you’re kind to yourself.

You can either feel bad about what you haven’t yet accomplished, or appreciate where you are now compared to the past. What are the positive baby steps you finally decided to take? How has the relationship you have to yourself changed for the better?

I could feel bad about all the time I went without writing or being productive, or I could be proud to be writing today. I could call myself lazy for all the hours in bed, or I could marvel at the opportunity I gave myself to rest, when in the past I wouldn’t have let myself.

It’s so important to pay attention to the way we speak to ourselves and whether we’re building ourselves up or down. Self criticism can seep in the most subtle ways, from comparison to guilt. It’s the underlying belief that we are not enough, even though we truly are no matter what we do. I am Still enough if I watched Netflix in bed for the rest of my life― and that is a lesson I keep coming back to.

Everything else we choose to do, all our dreams and aspirations, those are icing on the cake in this extraordinary experience of being. And you, simply being here, is wonderfully enough.

Love,

Gabriela

I’m Back!

9 weeks later… I’m back!

First time writing in a while and I already feel like crying. The last two months of my life have been a whirlwind of emotions, late nights, stress, and beautiful moments of connection, leading up to the unmatched joy of new beginnings.

All of it begs to be expressed and released through me—writing is one of the ways I choose to do it.

In case you didn’t read my newsletter sent out roughly 9 weeks ago—I was in flight attendant training for 8 weeks, and announced I may not be writing for a while. Most moments were spent either in class, studying, or sleeping. I have never been so intently focused on, and immersed in one subject matter in my life.

Being the creative, and curious type that I am, it was extremely difficult not to have the time and freedom to explore hobbies and passions, let alone, to relax. I have a new sense of appreciation for MY LIFE, which is dynamic, and full of colorful past times and the ability to create.

Since I left training, my body has been attempting to recuperate through hours and hours of sleep, and to find its balance between the time zones. My mind busily absorbs all the endings and new beginnings. What just happened? What is happening?

What is happening is I’m now in LA, my new base and “home away from home.” I will be working trips from LA while still living in Salt Lake City and flying back home on my free time. It’s actually pretty common to “commute” from state to state in the airline industry, though the overwhelm of it is still palpable.

On top of that, most of my trips this month are red eyes and I am an early bird to a fault. Yikes! Talk about disoriented sleep schedule.

My intention here is not to complain —I prayed, and worked tirelessly to be where I am today, but still there is this very human thing in me to find fault at the result of each success. Can you relate?

So, this is where I must stop myself: Breathe, acknowledge where I am (somewhere I once desired badly to be), thank myself for getting here, and see the positive in the situation.

I am a freakin’ flight attendant! Which means I travel for a living. Wild. And I get to fly back home when I’m free. For free.

Writing those words fills me instantly with gratitude and the overwhelm slowly begins to dissipate. Because I know, everything is alright. Better than alright.

Reflection Moment:

What have you recently accomplished that you’re proud of?

What have you achieved that you once truly desired?

I’m going to change the name of this newsletter to Weekly Motivation and do my best to write one weekly, on whichever day I’m free.

It feels amazing to be here again, after all this time and I thank you for your patience and your readership. It means the world!

Love,

Gabriela

Headed to Flight Attendant Training!

Greetings from thousands of feet above ground!

Today I write to you from a plane headed to Atlanta―the first Monday Motivation written in transit. If all goes well in the next eight weeks, I’ll be spending A LOT more time on airplanes, because I will officially be a flight attendant! This employment process has been in the works for months now, and today is finally the day I head to train.

This is a huge transition for me. I will be living in a shared hotel room in ATL, learning up to twelve hours a day, and essentially going to school once more. Not only that, but my lifestyle, routine, and the consistency I’m used to will be completely altered afterwards.

Transitions are usually more exciting than frightening for me because I thrive off change. I love to relocate, travel, and learn new skills―to experience as much as possible and keep life moving and evolving.

However, it doesn’t mean change is always easy. I will miss my house, my partner, my free time and the space to be alone.

When change is awkward and uncomfortable, I remind myself that true stability lies within me. I like to think of my one true home as my body, my mind as my companion, and my heart as my guide.

These are the essentials that follow me wherever I go, which are always available to me whenever I need to be comforted.

This may or may not be the last newsletter I write for a while. (Time off while be scarce will I train), but if I can, I will certainly continue to send these out.

If you don’t hear from me for the next couple months, feel free to add me on IG, which I’m fairly active on (@gabrielammelgar), watch my youtube videos, or listen to podcasts of mine which may be of interest to you.

Though I’m pursuing this new career path and giving it my all, I still plan on continuing to write, create content and coach once I’m done with training 🙂

Don’t hesitate to reach out! Wish me luck!

Love,

Gabriela