Gratitude, Patience and Trust

I’ve been riding a wave since my last newsletter—one of flow, acceptance, and trust. It’s been blissful really, not feeling resistance to where I currently am in life, and enjoying the journey as it unfolds.

When I last wrote, I talked about tapping into the feeling of “freedom,” which is my #1 motivator in life and essential to my well-being and happiness. There were times when I viewed my circumstances as a barrier to freedom, but I’ve been able to change my perspective by tuning into the abundance of freedom I already have. A change of perspective is everything, and in this case, I’ve noticed how much more chill I am about reaching my goals.

It’s not that my ambition has decreased in any way. Simply put, I’m taking the time to smell the roses on the way to where I’d like to eventually be. I’m no longer in a state of rush or frustration because I can tap into whatever it is I want to feel now. There’s less stress and more fun. Less worry about the future and more presence to the beauty of this moment. There’s confidence that this is where I’m supposed to be now, and that it is glorious in its own way.

I call this being in flow. Finally swimming with the stream and not against it.

To boil it down, I’ve found the mindset shift into flow consists of three pillars: gratitude, patience, and trust.

Gratitude for all the blessings and opportunities you currently have.
Patience towards the journey.
And trust that all is unfolding as it should and that your success is inevitable.

I hope that you can enjoy where you are today and have more fun as you make your way towards your desired future.

Align to That Which You Seek

Today I’d like to invite you to challenge the way you were taught to seek happiness, or whatever feeling it is you desire to find.

We grew up believing that we needed things, experiences, accomplishments, and even people to make us feel happy, validated, and complete. We chased titles/careers, material wealth, and relationships only to find another ladder to climb at the end of each goal completed. Have you noticed that the seeking never really ends? You can get what you really wanted and shortly after, feel like there’s something else to reach for in order to be fully satisfied.

Becoming a flight attendant was a goal I really wanted to accomplish not too long ago. I begged the universe to help me land this opportunity and worked my butt off preparing for the interviews. I thought this job would be the perfect addition to my life; that I would no longer feel “lost,” or “stuck” and be set free with the opportunity to travel.

Yet, once I got it, it was entirely too easy to focus on the problems and difficulties within the industry. That “stuck” feeling continued to haunt me despite having obtained what I thought was the answer. I felt confined by my schedule and all the time away from home, and when I was in a place I really enjoyed, it was tainted with the sadness of having to leave shortly after.

These were some of the reasons not to be happy yet. And that’s when I realized I was in a perpetual state of suffering: always wanting more or something different in order to feel free.

Freedom is one of my most important values, the motivation behind so many life decisions, and what I always seem to be chasing.

But I decided that if I were to lead a fulfilled life, I would have to put an end to the never-ending chase and tap into all the ways that I’m already free. A.k.a.“align with the vibration of freedom.” When I talk about aligning to a vibration, what I mean is getting into the state of your desired feeling, in order to attract that which we want in life (Law of Attraction).

I pulled out my journal and started a list of different ways I’m free, discovering so much I’d taken for granted. I’m free to consume the books/films/music I choose; I’m free to dress how I want, I’m free to journal and mediate, I’m free to laugh and play. On a larger scale, I have total creative freedom (like writing this newsletter and making videos) which is so so valuable to me. Plus my job does allow me to travel and see the people I love around the world, which is the closest thing to teleporting I can get right now.

I was so taken aback by the incredible amount of ways I’m already free. I sat with that appreciation and let it light me up. It felt like I could finally ease into the adventure of this very moment. I could finally perceive how everything was flowing naturally and working out for me.

Since then, my attitude towards work has totally changed and in turn, I’m having more fun on a daily basis. I am finally sitting back, enjoying the journey, and appreciating the gifts picked up along the way.

It’s human to have this insatiable thirst for more; to believe that something else has the key to our happiness and completion. But as we grow, we learn to find that which we seek is already in our hands. We have the power of emotion and of perception, which once cultivated and tweaked can shape how we experience our reality.

And in my reality, I am finally free. How about yours?

Flow

Hello friends! I hope you’re all well!

Does anyone else sense how light the energy feels in August compared to July? I gotta admit July had some tough moments for me; I was overworked, missing home and feeling defeated towards the end of the month.

If you follow astrology you may have attributed July’s trying energy to Mercury Retrograde. In case you aren’t familiar, the retrograde wreaks havoc among technology, travel and communication. Plus, it fell during Cancer season, which brings forth our emotional and sensitive nature. Meaning, we were deep in our feels as this was unfolding.

The beautiful thing about life though, is that something can suddenly shift and you can wake up one day and everything feels fine again. Even really, really, good. Whether it’s a planetary shift or a simple change in perspective, nothing truly stays stagnant.

I’m so happy to be feeling more positive and like myself again, though l can now see that what felt like harsh lessons in July were an opportunity to show up as the most authentic version of me. I truly believe there is always something to learn from discomfort and that we have the capability to alchemize the darkness into something beautiful if we choose.

If you’re still feeling down, hang in there and let it flow. What really helped me to process the tough days was feeling into my heart during meditation. Meditation can be as simple as focusing on your breathing for a couple minutes a day, and I am starting to see how life changing it truly is. (The hype is real).

I hope though, that you are all well and enjoying the summer now that we near towards the end. I hope you have let the sun bathe your skin and that you’ve spent an entire day just being. You.

Love,

Gabriela

What is Self-Care?

I am so happy to be writing from home! These past couple weeks have been insane with “summer flying.” I’d been warned about how busy the airline industry could get during the summer but I was not mentally prepared for all the reroutes and fast pace of things.

It’s so good to finally have moments to sit back and breathe. To enjoy the comforts of home (particularly the couch) and to check in with myself. I am intently focused on self-care during these few days of rest.

Yesterday my partner and I melted into the couch and today I have a little spa day planned. Not only that, but I also booked a psychic reading with someone I found through a podcast.

This got me thinking about self-care and what that really means. Self-care usually connotes images of women in face masks or getting massages, but there are so many other fun and creative ways that we can check in and take care of ourselves—physically, mentally, spiritually.

For me, today it means getting a psychic reading because it’s fun and it gives me spiritual direction.

Self-care could also mean taking the time out of the day to face time with good friends, getting lost in laughter and conversation, or driving to a random town for the hell of it.

Sometimes it’s not exciting per se, but it could be exactly what you need, like eating ice cream in the bath tub, or spending an entire day watching TV, letting your body fully relax and my mind drift for a while.

Sometimes it is more cliche for me— like getting my eyebrows and nails done so I can feel amazing on the inside and outside. (Personally, I’ve found a strong correlation between how I look and how I feel).

My point is: you get to decide what self care looks like for you and it’s important to take note of when you’re in dire need of it. Better yet, to recognize when you could use some lovin’ before you’re in serious need of it, and to incorporate it into some sort of routine. I know I need some attention when my body starts aching, my patience thins, and my mind falls down a negative spiral. It’s then that I know I have to make the time for myself and replenish.

What are your self-care methods? I would love to know! Respond back to this email or connect on instagram @gabrielammelgar

Love,

Gabriela

PS-

Last week I made a Youtube video titled “Surrender to a Bigger Plan.” It was inspired by reading “The Universe Has Your Back” & talks about how “surrendering” has created more peace and happiness in my life.

You can check it out here

I’m getting in the groove of creating weekly videos. If you’d like to subscribe, head to my youtube channel.

Creating Mini Goals

Happy Friday!

I’ve missed writing and connecting with you all! The more time I take away from doing it, the harder it becomes. I start second guessing myself and thinking of reasons why this isn’t the best time to write.

As a creative, I often struggle with the middle ground between creating on my terms and maintaining discipline. I have all these amazing ideas about work I’d like to complete and put out to the world, yet taking consistent action is tough. I like to take things day by day, enjoy the spontaneity of the present moment and simply create when I feel like it or have the energy.

The problem is, I don’t end up taking that much action or bringing my ideas to life. Even though I’m learning on a soul level that productivity does not define my value (I wrote about this previously), I can’t deny that my desire to express and share with the world is a part of my fiber, and brings meaning and purpose to my life. So when life speeds by me and I find I haven’t worked towards my most important goals, I end up feeling frustrated.

Can you relate?

The most effective game plan will push me to get sh*t done while not feeling bogged down by “work.”

I’ve been able to do this effectively with exercise. I always wanted to have a work out routine but never seemed to make time for it. I thought I had to go to a gym or a class and spend at least an hour there, plus the time traveling there and back. This idea didn’t suit my schedule nor was it something I actually wanted to do.

I simplified it so much for myself. For about a month now I’ve been exercising at home (or in my hotel rooms) for just 10-15 minutes a day. I simply lay out my yoga mat, put on an exercise YouTube video to follow along, and knock it out. My body thanks me for it and I end up feeling accomplished every time because I’ve set myself up for success.

When I have an exceptionally early start to the day or feel exhausted, I skip out on it and pick it back up the next day, without attaching any guilt to it. I try to listen to my body and respect when it just needs sleep or rest.

I can happily say I’ve made working out part of my routine, even if this is simply a baby step, though I actually don’t feel the need or desire to push myself to do more right now.

What I’d like to work on now is making my creative projects a part of my weekly routine. I’m challenging myself to work 10 hours a week on my “side hustle.” 10 hours seems like a doable goal, yet it will also push me to potentially create a lot more than I have before. Having a weekly goal instead of a daily one also allows the wiggle room to simply relax some days.

Tracking the time I work on my projects and watching each hour chip away at my weekly goal is both motivating and encouraging.

If you’re in a similar boat and know that there are some areas in your life where you want to start seeing progress, try this out with me.

How can you create mini goals towards your desired outcome?

It’s important to also treat this as an experiment and have fun, while not feeling bad about yourself if for some reason the mini goals are too much and you need to scale back a little.

It’s all about collecting data and figuring out what works for you.

Let’s support one another on this journey. I’d love to hear about what you’re working on and whether this resonated with you.

Love always,

Gabriela

What Is Abundance, Really?

Good evening, friends!

If you’re anything like me and consume media in the realm of self-development or spirituality, you’ve probably heard the word “abundance” thrown around a lot, sometimes in phrases such as “abundance mindset” or “living abundantly.” It typically refers to living a full, rich life surrounded (and in appreciation of) the things you love, rather than focusing on lack and what you don’t have.

Part of my own journey has been to create an abundant life for myself—to gift myself with all the experiences I desire, and to work towards a life that allows me the freedom to travel, eat well, and have plenty of fun.

I used to think that in order to make all those dreams come true, I would have to earn tons of money. Ironically, while trying to create “abundance,” I ended up feeling a lack of it when my desired income wasn’t reached.

My limited perception of abundance prevented me from appreciating all the blessings that had fallen into my life which hadn’t necessarily arrived in the form of money.

For example, I recently realized that one of my biggest dreams came true. I used to day dream about being able to walk into the airport and spontaneously travel to any destination I desired. I thought that in order for this to happen, I would have to be rich.

As a flight attendant, my company allows me to travel wherever they fly, either for free or at very little cost. I could literally do this whenever I have time. It blew my mind to really sit with that and appreciate it as a dream come true.

I already have so much of what I want and experience joy regularly without having met my “income goals.” What we truly want is usually a feeling rather than a thing. If I have joy, if I have love, and freedom and a passion for living (all the things I thought money would buy), then why limit myself to feeling abundant only when a certain amount of money is reached?

Abundance is all around us. In the greenness of leaves, in laughter, in the array of tastes we experience in the span of a day. You can find it in the smallest details or in the overwhelm of realizing that you are in a near perfect stage of your life.

If you ever feel down or stressed about money or whatever it is you “lack,” I encourage you to take equal amounts of time and energy into adding up all the little (and big) miracles, joys, pleasures, talents and gifts you’ve got going in your favor. Feel into the appreciation until your heart feels like it’ll burst. Do this as much as possible, as often as possible and tap into your wealth.

Love,

Gabriela

Reasons to Love or Hate a Place

Good Morning, Friends!

It’s a beautiful morning in Salt Lake City. The snow really came down last night and the trees and houses are lined white and glittering in the sunlight.

It’s views like this that make me appreciate it here, because—it truly is beautiful.

Living here though, (and living anywhere, really) is not always easy. From my experience residing in various cities and countries, each place comes with a list of pros and cons.

The other day, I found my frustrations with Salt Lake City growing. I didn’t feel free here because I don’t own a car and am nervous about driving.

It was easy to get around San Francisco (I didn’t even get my license until I was 26). But relying on the bus, my legs (and the occasional uber and lyft) to get me places here is not always easy (or cheap) —specially in the winter.

The other night I missed my bus stop on my way home from work, and was dropped off about a mile away at the next stop. I was bummed, hungry, and freezing, when I saw a Sonics at the corner of the street.

I thought, “this is the time to get some fast food guilt-free.” To my horror, it was solely a drive-through Sonics (are all Sonics like that? Idk) There was no option to order or eat inside, because the small building at the center of the lot was for employees only.

So, I had to stand next to one of the ordering kiosks outside, and yell out my order while it was 20 something degrees out. I must admit, it was pretty funny and I even made an instagram story about it. I had to laugh at the situation a little.

After my order came out, my hands were awkwardly full, when a man approached me and asked me for some money. I offered him a dollar, but was seriously struggling to reach into my bag to grab it. His friend noticed my struggle, and came by to dismiss me, ordering, “You go on home now with your bags. We don’t need your dollar!” as they walked back to their car.

I dropped some of my food in the snow as I waddled out of there, and by the time I got home my fingers were burning from the cold and I was genuinely concerned I might get frost bite?

It was one of those days that made me hate Salt Lake City. Walking home I went through a long list of reasons not to like it here. There’s no proper public transportation, the streets are too long, it revolves around car culture, State St. is so sketchy, there’s no good affordable food etc.

All this to demonstrate that if you’re looking for reasons to hate a place, or a situation, it is so easy to come up with them! I even kept going with my list until the next day, and let me tell you—it ruined that day, too.

The good news is, it can be just as easy to find things to love about a place or situation. If you think you can’t, start very small and watch that list grow and grow.

Things I love about Salt Lake: How there’s usually parking when we go out, the spaciousness of it, the cute little coffee and retail shops a couple blocks away, the epic mountains, the proximity to beautiful nature, my lovely neighbors, our cute house, etc.

I usually choose to see the good in things, and practice gratitude on a daily basis, but I also fall prey to negative thinking and frustration. And that’s when I have to check myself and adjust my perspective.

In this situation, I also evaluated what was in my control and what wasn’t. I can’t control the transportation system here, but I can adapt by driving. I started practicing again yesterday, and it wasn’t as scary as I thought it would be. It was actually pretty fun when I released the resistance to it. I can already feel how it will drastically change my experience here.

When in Salt Lake, do as the Salt Lakers do.

Battling Doubt

Thursday was my day to make Youtube videos, except I didn’t feel like it. I had a plan set out for it and everything: to do a live and continue my “Tea Time Thursdays” series I only started a couple weeks ago, as well to record a second video.

Instead, I spent most of the day strolling through Millcreek, just south of Salt Lake, enticed by a new age store I discovered walking to an appointment. Inside, I purchased a shiny blue-purple stone called Peacock Ore which was said to, “enhance inner knowing and strengthen perception.” Though I was instinctively attracted to its beauty, I realized I could use some of its healing powers, too.

I’d been feeling doubtful of some of the new directions I was going with my business, like broadening my coaching niche, focusing on new projects, and this desire to break from making Youtube videos, or at least, wanting to loosen the pressure on myself to create them. I wanted to figure out whether or not these changes were wise.

A part of me scorned my lack of consistency (in life, business, and now, Youtube). This part insisted Youtube was my ticket to building a greater audience and success in my business. Plus, I’d told my subscribers I’d be making two videos per week in attempt to motivate myself. This felt like the thing I was “supposed” to do.

Yet, just the thought of making a video felt like work in a way that new projects didn’t.

I was confused on how to move forward with this dilemma. Should I continue making Youtube videos for the sake of consistency, or move on to shiny new things?

There were two opinions in me, battling it out, so I decided to bring this inner-dialogue to life through writing.

I took out my journal and told each side they had equal time and space to say whatever they needed to, without judgement. On one corner, we had what I perceived to be “the voice of logic,” the pro-Youtube/consistency one, and on the other side we had what I called “airy intuition”– the flighty, creative, and idealistic part of me who wants to do everything on my terms and with joy.

Logic said this: You’re going to abandon Youtube? That’s where your audience lives. That is the platform with the most promise to you. What’s your mom going to say? You look like a flake, jumping from one thing to the next. How are you going to grow a business with all this flakiness? Barely anyone reads your blog anyways.

Then, there was the counterargument.

Airy intuition: I am not a “flake.” I am not giving up on my business. I am simply taking it in a new direction that feels good to me. I have been pretty consistent with my blog and super excited about the new projects coming up. I got this! This doesn’t have to mean that I’m giving up on Youtube forever. It simply means most of my content building is going in a new direction. Those that roll with me will roll with this new direction, too. There’s a reason I’m not as interested in Youtube right now, and that’s okay.

I learned that what I had deemed as the voice of “logic” was more like an inner-critic. It was doubtful and scared of my new choices. It brought up what my mom might think and what I would be perceived as by others. “Flakiness” was thrown out a couple times, and it seemed angry at me for continually changing and trying new things.

On the other hand, “airy intuition” was not totally “airy” after all. She had some solid, reasonable points for why I wasn’t a flake and stood firm by my choices. Not only that, but she was encouraging, and seemed to come from a place of belief in myself.

It was eye-opening to see this dialogue on paper. I understood that the resistance towards moving in newer, more exciting directions in my business was coming from a place of fear and self-criticism, and that although I could make space for that opinion to speak, I didn’t have to succumb to it. Instead, I could expand my attention towards the “airy intuition” voice and harness that belief in myself and the bravery to follow my highest excitement.

Applying This Technique To Your Journey

This inner-dialogue journaling tool can be used whenever your in the midst of a tricky decision, are feeling self-doubt, or just need to untangle your thought process around a certain topic. You’ll be surprised at what you discover when you make space for the parts of yourself, and listen.

Turning In

One of the things that’s appealing about writing a blog to me, is that it’s not highly recommended these days. Most business coaches would tell you it’s a better idea to focus on growing your social media, to create videos, or even start a podcast. But a blog–that’s outdated.

I guess I have a rebellious streak. I yearn for authenticity and even if writing is no longer popular, it feels great to do it. This medium allows me to express my thoughts in a way that’s uniquely me.

This blog represents going with my gut. Choosing a path that feels right to me, regardless of what some seasoned experts say. My passion lies in living a life that’s truly authentic, and helping others do the same. This blog is an ode to that.

As an entrepreneur, it’s been tricky to make decisions based solely on what feels right to me. You have all this freedom, yet that freedom can be overwhelming and sort of frightening. For over a year now, I’ve studied the words of other successful entrepreneurs, taken courses, and even hired a business coach. Some of their methods didn’t always jive with me, but I’ve tried them anyways. Other times, I’ve gotten stuck and refused to do anything–whether it was their way or mine.

This push and pull between what feels right to me and other people’s methods and opinions has been a defining part of my journey. Though I was learning from the process itself, and from these mentors, I felt, in many ways, that I wasn’t being true to my own inner guidance.

One of the stronger suggestions I received from coaching mentors was to pick a niche (an area of expertise), and focus on one problem I could help my clients solve. This idea felt confining to me–hell, even the idea of labeling myself solely as a “coach” felt confining. I wanted to expand, to create without limitations. I yearned for the freedom to express myself in whichever way felt right, and to share whatever message I was inspired to contribute, regardless if it fit my niche or not.

Then, I thought about the people I admired and how they had reached success by being rule breakers, or by creating their own unique strategies at life and business. They had owned their authenticity and ran with their intuition. I realized, there is no prescription to my ideal life and definition of success, and if I was going to trail blaze my way through this, I’d have to do it by following my gut.

Becoming Your Ideal Self, Today

I’ve been very future oriented lately. My days have been busy with dreaming, goal setting and hustling. Hustling to reach this “ideal version” of myself: the successful woman I’ll one day become.

This idea of a future-self has propelled me forward. It’s such an exciting life I’m building towards, why wouldn’t I want to work hard to get there? The problem is, I’ve placed this ideal version of myself somewhere far off in the distance. It’s a goal to be reached in the future, when a bunch of different pieces of my life fall into place.

Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s vitally important to have goals clearly outlined for yourself, and to visualize exactly the type of life you want to have. Clarity gives you a path and a better idea of the next best step, wherever you are in your journey.

The important thing to remember is not to get stuck in the idea that you can’t have any aspect of your ideal life yet, and to perpetually wait for the “right moment” to begin making necessary changes. You can create a shortcut to your dream life, today.

Here’s what I did, and what you could do to reach your goals sooner rather than later:

First, I created a list of all the things I wanted for my ideal life + self. I wrote down details for all aspects of my life, including: health, finances, travel, style, self-confidence + beliefs, relationships, career etc. To give you an example, under “health” I wrote down what I wanted my diet to be like, how often I wanted to exercise, get massages etc. Under “finances” I included how much I wanted to make per month, how much I wanted to save and give. In the “self-confidence and beliefs” section, I wrote down all the new beliefs I’d have about myself, such as “I believe, with 100% certainty, that I can accomplish anything.”
After creating this detailed picture of what I wanted for myself, I went through and highlighted all the things I could start doing now, even if that meant pushing myself a bit. I highlighted things like: “I eat tons of fruits and veggies every day,” “I have a regular yoga practice,” “I iron my clothing,” and “I am honest and caring in my communication.” The financial goals seemed the most currently out of reach for me, but I realized I could start tapping into some of those goals. Even if I couldn’t save x% of my income right now, I could push myself to save more than I had in the past.
I started incorporating the habits of my ideal self into my current life.

What I learned from this project is that I have much more control of the present than I thought. I can shortcut to that ideal life if I choose. I no longer have to wait for the “right moment” to begin. The right moment is now.

I’d like to invite you to try this exercise with me and see what happens when you start choosing to live out your goals now.

A video on the topic: