Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs

Life has been moving super fast due to work and travel on top of it, but also the end of the year just has a tendency to go 10x faster, don’t you think?

The last month of the decade is upon us which prompts a strong desire for change, and sometimes it feels like there’s a lot to figure out by the end of the year. Where do we want to go? What do we want to accomplish? But most importantly — I’ve been getting clear about what my core needs and desires for the near future are.

I’m coming to understand and listen to the part of me that truly craves some stability and grounding. I’ve always been an explorer, wanting to swallow the entire world at once — seeing everything I could possibly see. Always looking for something, which to be honest, I’m still unsure of what exactly it is.

I’m a stubborn, nomadic spirit — but I’m learning that sometimes the inability to settle and lay down some roots can be problematic for my sense of well-being and security (core needs).

Becoming a fight attendant intensified the inconsistencies in my life, turning my world upside down in ways that are challenging to keep up with sometimes. Though I’m grateful for the opportunities it’s provided me, I feel as though I’ve lost substantial control of my stability — my sense of home and of belonging, as well as the daily routines that ground me to my body & spirit.

You’ve probably heard of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, as depicted below:

According to Maslow, humans are driven to meet all of our five needs: physiological, safety, love/belonging, esteem and self-actualization. Each time we meet a need at the bottom of the pyramid, we can continue moving up towards self-actualization.

My focus usually tends to hang out somewhere towards the top of the pyramid, as I intent to build esteem and to self-actualize. My guess is that might be where your focus usually is, too.

But at this point in my life, I’m finding it valuable to revisit some of the more basic needs before I can continue building loftier goals for the future.

My desire for stability personally relates to “safety,” as it affects my well-being & health. “Belonging” also comes into play, since I would like to call in a greater sense of community in my life.

I’m not sure exactly how all the pieces will fall together to meet these basic needs yet, but I’m confident that becoming aware of them and setting an intention to grant these desires is the most important step I can take right now.

If you are finding yourself wanting to set some goals for 2020, my little offering to you is that you identify whether your core needs are being met first, or how you can make the foundation of your pyramid even stronger.

Remember that you can personally decide what these needs look like for you. The concept of “stability and routine” used to be unappealing to me because I related them to boredom. But when I journaled on what stability and grounding look like for me, it actually does include making time for travel — just the more voluntary and refreshing kind lol.

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this food for thought. I’m certainly processing and learning a lot as this year wraps up, and wishing you all the best as you make your way to the end of this decade, too.

A Trip Through Time

The greatest perk of being a flight attendant are the travel benefits, which I hadn’t yet used *for fun*. I’d been so consumed in adjusting to this lifestyle, moving, and visiting my boyfriend in Utah, that I hadn’t yet tapped into this blessing.

I finally had the perfect opening, and seized the opportunity to travel to my favorite place in the world: Lisbon, Portugal. On my way back home, I was granted a first class seat that fully reclined into a bed. It was a moment of total gratitude.

I’d imagined that one day, I would travel this luxuriously, but I never anticipated it would happen so soon. I used to think that in order to experience certain luxuries, I would have to be super rich. This experience alone reminded me that abundance can show up in so many fun ways other than a paycheck, and that life is constantly blessing us. I wrote about abundance in one of my previous newsletters, if you’d like to read more on that topic.

Soul City

7 years ago, Lisbon stole my heart. I had been studying abroad in Spain when I took a trip with classmates to Lagos, Portugal and had one of the best weekends of my life. Portugal had never been on my radar ’til then, so I decided to check out Lisbon shortly after. It was the second trip I took on my own, which was very meaningful to me. Solo-travel has changed my life by changing the relationship I have with myself and with the world. I discuss this more thoroughly in my latest video.

Anyways, when I walked through Lisbon, something clicked. It was as if I had found my soul-city — something I didn’t even know existed. It felt warm and familiar, like home — yet it delighted and awakened me, the way hearing a beautiful song for the first time stirs your soul. I returned for my last weekend in Europe before going back to the US, and never imaged it would take so long to get back…

It was naive to think I would have the exact same experience returning. After all, 7 years is plenty of time for a place to shift, and even more so — for my own perceptions to change. I was a little disappointed to see how flooded with tourists Lisbon is now, because I loved how authentic and raw it used to feel. Nevertheless, it still pulled my heart strings the way it always does. On my last day, I followed my intuition and wandered through lonelier streets still seemingly reserved for locals, reconnecting with that authentic and down-to-earth energy I fell in love with.

The biggest take away from the trip though, was reconnecting with my younger-self. I was 21 when I fist encountered Lisbon, and returning allowed me to consider where I was in life back then. I used to think that my 21-year-old-self was so different & unexperienced compared to where I am today. I actually realized how much a past-version of myself could teach me.

21-year-old Gaby was a true free-spirit. She was led by a huge desire to see the world, seizing each opportunity to visit new places. This was the start of a new era, where she began to spend time in new environments alone, learning to dance between loneliness and a fondness for her own company. Though she was experiencing some heart-break, she made sure to have plenty of fun, making some of the most epic memories to date. She let herself be free, sometimes to the point of overindulgence — yet, she bounced back from anything, flowing and perceiving with a positive attitude. A newfound sense was coming over her, of just how capable it was to make her dreams come true.

Thinking back, I realized what a transformative time that was for me, and how much I owe to that younger version of myself. That spark, adventurous spirit, and courage is what propelled me to see and experience so much to this point. I’ve learned I could incorporate more of her sense of freedom and fun-loving ways. As I get older, I tend to take myself more and more seriously, feeling the weight of having to accomplish, succeed, and figure shit out on a certain timeline. What if the path is simply to live, to explore, and to keep the focus on what brings us joy? Where would we go if we flowed a little more, trusting the timing of our lives?

I spent a day in Lisbon hanging out with some girls in their early 20’s from Spain. They were kind, funny, wise (and vegan environmentalists) — all qualities I admire. Unsure of what they really want to do with their lives, they were taking some time off to explore the world, finding creative ways to do so on a budget. We sat down for coffee after a morning of walking through the windy, upward roads of the Alfama district.

The conversation turned to my career, and I shared my ambitions for the future with them. “It’s so nice to hear someone with goals,” one responded.

“Someone who knows what their goals are,” another clarified. It hit me in that moment, that I had in fact, come a long way in that respect. I can finally pin-point what I want to achieve.

“Don’t worry, I didn’t know what I really wanted at your age either,” I related.

But, reflecting now, I think I always knew the gist. Maybe all I ever really wanted was to live a life I’m proud to live.

Alchemizing into Flow State

It’s my day off but really that just means a day to focus on my purpose. Lately, I’ve been super intentional about my time. I use it to heal, to grow, and most importantly — to create. 🙂

It’s blissful to finally be in the groove with my soul’s work. You guys have witnessed my ups and downs with productivity; fighting and eventually coming to terms with the lulls in my creativity. I finally managed to surrender and rest. And through that journey, I came out on the other side, to this highly inspired chapter. I can’t lie — though I honor all of my seasons, the season of “doing” is my favorite.

I’ve been bursting with inspiration and actually taking action on it. I can’t do everything at once, but I have a solid list I’m working towards. Each day that I’m not at my job, or each morning that I’m free, I’m happily chipping away at those projects. I’ve been reflecting lately on what I went through to finally reach this flow state.

I took time to rest, to sit back as ideas moved through me that I couldn’t find the words for. I critiqued myself for not producing, and learned to love myself harder through that. I became deeply frustrated with my day job and looked for ways out that didn’t align with my purpose. I had some trauma resurface. I fell, diving head first into my calling.

I didn’t really have a choice, because creating is what I need to heal. That is how I know this is my purpose. Because through this work I make sense of things, bring light to my own darkness, and hopefully inspire you to seek within as well.

The only way out is through. And as I navigate some difficulties with the goal of alchemizing them into something useful and beautiful, I naturally realign. By that I mean: I remember who the fuck I am. I am a creator, and so are you.

Each season has a purpose. Each feeling matters. Each experience is a teacher. May we continue to alchemize them into something beautiful — whatever that means for you.

xxGabriela

Latest Work:

Video: My Breathwork Experience

In this video I talk about my experience with breathwork (thus far). I have tried doing it with an online course, and recently in a class format. I share my current experience with some troubling emotions & how breathwork has helped me. I also discuss why it’s important to tune into our bodies and to process our feelings.

Also available on the Freedom-Based Living podcast via anchor or anywhere else podcasts are found.

Watch

Ep. 18: Appreciating the Journey

In this podcast I talk about how we can appreciate where we currently are in life. Constantly chasing success can sometimes cause us to lose touch with the gifts of the present. I offer some advice on how to get in touch with where we are today.

Listen

It’s a Privilege to be Lost

Ah, it’s good to be able to enjoy a Sunday morning/early afternoon. I have some time today before I head to Puerto Rico for work and am feeling a wave of gratitude after a tough period. I just transitioned to a new living space in New York — in Bushwick, Brooklyn to be exact. I finally have my own room and that means the world to me.

I was nervous about stepping up my living space from a “crashpad,” in Queens where flight attendants share rooms and sleep in bunk beds, to renting out my own room. The price difference was big, and I’m farther away from the airport now, but I finally feel like I’m home. Like I actually live here now.

I talked about the concept of home before, and how to me, home is truly a state of mind, but there are things that make us feel more at peace. For me that’s having the privacy and space for my morning rituals, some walls to decorate, and a place to keep my things so I’m not constantly living out of a suitcase.

Overall, I’m feeling extremely blessed, and remembering what it’s like to be in a state of gratitude. Like I mentioned, I’m coming off of a trying period. I felt lost in different areas of my life, not knowing where I was headed, and sensing that things were sorta falling apart.

It was truly a time to practice surrender. I prayed, asked for direction, and observed what I could and couldn’t control. Whatever I couldn’t control, I handed over to God, and trusted that I would be led to the answers or wherever it was I needed to go.

At the height of this confusion, a friend reminded me that “it’s a privilege to be lost.” Being lost connotes having options and a variety of roads to take. It’s an opportunity to explore those options and to say goodbye to the ones that no longer work. Though it can sometimes feel like we’re being suspended in the air, it’s simply an indication to realign and redirect.

What tends to help is: getting clear about what areas in your life are demanding change, identifying where you can take action and where you currently can’t, and praying on and surrendering what is out of your control.

If you aren’t comfortable with the concept of God, you can ask your higher-self for guidance. That wise part of you that knows what your heart longs, that loves you unconditionally, and is always rooting for you. Then, you let go and do your best to take care of yourself, love yourself, and focus on the things you know bring you joy.

I shied away from writing earlier this week, feeling as though my confusion had nothing to share. And that’s okay — I needed a break to reconnect with myself.

Anyways, just want to let you know that if you too have moments of being lost, you’re not alone ❤ I hope this newsletter can bring you some ease in those muddled moments.

Balancing Your Ambition for the Future with Appreciation for Your Current Self

Happy November!

I like to celebrate the beginning of months as a fresh start, and as the opportunity to experience some amazing things to come. To me, months are like tiny years. So much can happen in 30–31 days, that it’s good to take a deep breath and think about some of our intentions for this time period. Do you have any goals? What do you hope goes really well in the next month? Also, what was your biggest lesson or accomplishment from October?

As a very goal-oriented individual, I am currently finding my balance between my ambition and drive for the future, and a practice of presence, self-compassion, and encouragement towards the present-day version of myself. I’ve been journaling on recent accomplishments and appreciating the newer, healthy patterns I’ve developed along the way.

Because of this, I was inspired to create a guided meditation which helps you visualize your future-self, five years from now. Afterwards, I guide you through acknowledging, loving, and encouraging yourself as you are today.

I’ve been meditating at the start of my day for some time now, and it’s a game-changer. Dedicating a little time in the morning to connect with myself and higher source is invaluable, and now it’s hard to imagine it not being part of my routine. When my mind is awfully loud, it can be helpful to do guided/visualization meditations, like the one I created. It’s also nice to switch up what types of meditations you do and see what works for you.

If you feel called to, check it out below (it’s on my Youtube and podcast).

And a little disclaimer: the sound quality is poor in a couple parts, which was super annoying, but I decided to put it up anyways, because if I let the perfectionist side of me run the show, I’d probably never share anything 😉

Anyways, have an AMAZING weekend. You deserve it all.

Listen to the meditation on Youtube
Listen on anchor or anywhere podcasts are found

Curiosity Feels

I struggled to come up with a topic for today’s newsletter, primarily because I’ve been going through some decision making and feeling unclear.

I like to share clarity and positivity when I write these emails, but that’s just one part of me, which is less prevalent on some days.

If I’m honest, there are just as many parts of me that are unsure, scared, saddened, angry, apathetic — you name it. And it is generally more difficult to accept and hold space for those emotions which we may deem as “negative.”

Generally, we are all more comfortable in the light, and may struggle to truly experience the discomforts of certain feelings — which is why it’s a lifelong challenge to create room for their expression as they emerge.

I’ve found that in some ways, the more I work on myself and the more aware I become of how powerful the mind is in shifting my experience, the more responsibility I bare on my shoulders to think and be positive.

While I definitely advocate for all the goodness that comes along with a positive mindset, it’s just as important to witness and be honest with our current experience, whatever that may be.

Rather than trying to bypass it and immediately reach for a positive thought and feeling, we can begin to get curious about the emotions that come up.

Some questions to ponder are:

What am I feeling right now and how is it showing up in my body?
What does it look like?
What thoughts, if any, lead me to that emotion?
If this feeling were to talk, what would it share? (Allow yourself to get playful with this. You can give different parts of you names, voices, and whatever modes of expression you want to explore).

Oftentimes it’s more than one feeling or part of you that comes up , so be mindful of that, and feel free to explore the unique characteristics of each.

All feelings are equally valuable and can teach us something important. For example, anger can often indicate where there’s room to shift and honor our boundaries. Uncertainty shows us that there’s a realm of possibilities and opportunities available to us.

And sometimes, we just don’t know what they are trying to teach or how to even move forward, and that’s something to witness, too.

The more curious we get, the more the judgement fades away, creating space for the feelings to move through freely so they can begin to shift.

I hope this can be helpful to some of you. It certainly was the reminder I needed myself.

Like always, feel free to reach out! And remember to stay curious.

Tipping the Scale

I recently recorded a podcast about creativity, intuition, and co-creating with higher source.

It was inspired by a desire to express my creativity in different forms. While I have a little routine down of writing and making videos, my intuition led me to see what other ways I could share my message, and I was called to try podcasting again, which felt very fluid and free.

It’s good to step out of our comfort zones as creatives, to play, and to not be so rigid with our work and ourselves. As I have shared, I’m working on dropping the strict demands I have on myself to create a certain type of content on schedule (when it isn’t feeling good or aligned), and to let my work feel energizing and fun!

I would like to explore what it means to be a “hard worker” in a much different way. To view my projects as “play” and as a time to connect with higher source, using my passions as a form of mediation. Perhaps by tipping the scale in this playful direction, I will actually find balance between freedom and tangible results.

It’s a process that requires intuition, self-compassion, enthusiasm, and drive.

If you yourself are a creative, or are just curious about exploring your own intuition when it comes to creating or making decisions, then check out the podcast here.

New York Bound

The past few days I’ve been taking some space. Some space to feel through this transition, some space to enjoy Salt Lake City, and some space for self-care. I spent two days at the spa and I have no regrets. Though I could feel on a surface level how my move from Salt Lake to NYC was affecting me, I knew that I had to go deeper and allow myself to mourn and accept this change, as well as to offer myself the support and care I desired.

I noticed a few days ago that I started to get pain in different parts of my body, particularly in my hand. I looked up what emotions hand pain could be linked to, and found that it can indicate trouble letting go. That hit home.

It’s hard to admit that I am struggling with that, because I want to jump into life in New York City weightless, and with open arms. But it’s difficult to leave something you built, even if that was an emotional refuge of sorts.

I experienced so much growth, love, and companionship in Salt Lake, that despite the things the city lacked for me, I know I’ll look back at this chapter with gratitude and some nostalgia. I can now see the beauty in having had something wonderful enough to miss.

When we feel uprooted, we can remind ourselves that home is where the heart is — in you. Each time I move, I’m astounded at the ability to make a home within myself; how one can take refuge in their bodies and being.

Another quote comes to mind: “Everywhere you go, there you are.” It carried a negative connotation when it was first presented to me, like, “You can never run away from yourself.” But, isn’t that perfect, too?

You will always, always have yourself, your one true home. And when we move from chapter to chapter, we’re really just renovating our inner home, using new experiences, connections and energies as building blocks.

When I think of my transition in those terms, it makes it easier to let go of a physical place, and of an experience. Life in Salt Lake changed my inner world, and I take that with me, this time as I build.

On Being Yourself

“To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else — means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.”

— E.E.Cummings

Lately I’ve been thinking about authenticity, and becoming aware of the many ways in which I personally struggle with letting myself be myself. What do we really mean when we talk about being ourselves, anyways?

I’ve learned it’s a myriad of things, among those: expressing our personalities, living out our values and manifesting our creativity. But also, being true to who we are on a moment-to-moment basis by listening to our intuition, our bodies, and emotions. We’re constantly evolving, therefore being ourselves can mean something different today than it was yesterday, or even an hour ago.

It’s such an irony, that like E.E. Cummings said — being ourselves is one of the hardest things we’ll ever do. It seems so simple, yet there are many ways we’re constantly trying to fit into a box, and play by rules we never consciously chose.

Some of these rules may aim to define what happiness and success means to us, how to achieve it, or how we should go about spending our time. Though we’re not really taught to, we’re allowed to reject what seems to be the “norm” and make our own rules about anything, honoring who we are and what we want. One of my rules is: I will not work 40 hours per week unless it’s towards my own business. It’s a standard that’s true to my love for personal time and creativity.

Still, I struggle sometimes with paving my own path towards success in different arenas, using my values, personality, and intuition to dictate how I accomplish certain goals.

I recently enrolled in a Youtube course to grow my channel and wanted to spend a majority of the day going through the lessons and coming up with an idea for a video. The course teaches that video topics should be based on what our ideal audience is searching for, and suggests that we post videos consistently, ideally on the same day each week.

It’s counter-intuitive for me because my work is based on personal experiences (not searchability), and I’m accustomed to creating spur of the moment, without sticking to a schedule. Already I felt my creativity stifled by these rules, though I pushed through, trying to stay open to the suggestions of an expert.

Later on, I still had no idea what my next video would be on, and was frustrated with myself at not being able to play by these rules. Not only that, but I was incredibly bored. A part of me just wanted to play.

Wait up, I thought. What’s the point of the projects I work on? (My youtube videos, this newsletter, courses etc). To have fun! Because they bring joy to my life and enrich my experience. The point is not: to force myself to do something I don’t want to do, or to feel bored and stressed.

I am not going to make myself create on a schedule when it doesn’t feel good or isn’t fun, I told myself. And just like that, I had made my own rule to play by.

I’ve consumed my fair share of courses, books, webinars, and even had a business coach on the path to up-leveling my life and creating a business. I’m constantly downloading information on what I should do and how I should be — these prescribed formulas for success. And yesterday I had this moment of being fed up by it. Not necessarily by the well-meaning advice (which has oftentimes helped), but by the bypassing of my own intuition and desires on how I want to go about creating success.

The how you walk your path, is an opportunity to be unapologetically yourself. Listening to that voice within that sometimes whispers and sometimes screams. It’s trusting in yourself above all, and believing that your own nature knows the way.

You can be wildly yourself and still find what you were looking for. In fact, I think that’s the answer after all.

On Change

We’ve all heard it before: change is inevitable. I tend to seek change before it comes looking, sweeping the rug of comfortability from under me. But this time, change came before I was totally ready, stirring some fear and doubt in me that feels oddly new.

I’ve moved from El Salvador to the U.S., Cali to Ohio, SF to Hanoi and then to SLC. Throughout all the relocations I was always excited to pack up my things and try something new. I looked forward to unknown horizons and experiences, sometimes in ways that boggled and worried my friends and family. Boredom and complacency is my #1 enemy, yet the older I grow, the more comfortable I get with the comfortable.

A few weeks ago I got news that I’ll be transferring from LA to NY for work (Though I live in SLC, I commute into LA). This news would have had me jumping up and down with glee a couple years ago. Living in NY has been a dream of mine since I began religiously watching Sex and the City at 12. But in Salt Lake, I finally got to build a home for myself. One that I felt warmth, love, and support in, in a place that’s beautiful and peaceful. What more could you want, really?

The thing is: I’ve noticed myself flatlining in Salt Lake. My life is so comfortable that I don’t stir up any change. I’ve become such a homebody, savoring the sweetness of my space and my lover, sitting on my porch and watching the mornings go by. I’m basically eighty years old. All jokes aside, as peaceful as it is, this isn’t all that my soul wants for me right now.

My soul desires an environment that inspires, challenges and excites me so I can develop my talents and creativity. It desires a community of artists, healers, and teachers to offer support on my entrepreneurial journey. It desires an environment where I can be most of service to others.

I know these truths to exist within me, but it’s hard for my mind to jump onboard when I seemingly have something good going already. As good as it is, my heart is too aware of the possibility of something great ahead.

So I took a gamble. I applied for a transfer, putting down SLC as my first choice (which would have made my life oh so easy), and NYC as my second. I told myself that if I got NYC, I would finally move there.

I let the universe decide, and it chose growth.

Now I’m dealing with the repercussions of that decision—the saying goodbye to a phase in life that gave me the opportunity to restore, to rest, and to appreciate the pleasantries of safety and simplicity. I truly have appreciated it, and that’s something that makes it much easier to accept change—when you’ve taken the time to enjoy what’s ultimately a passing phase.

All the details will fall into place, and I guess the thing that gives my mind anxiety is wondering if the right decision has been made. I won’t really know, until I’ve experienced both possibilities. But I do know what I fear the most: the never knowing nor experiencing what could have been.

So here’s to change—to letting it transform you even if you don’t feel ready. Trust your soul is.