I like to celebrate the beginning of months as a fresh start, and as the opportunity to experience some amazing things to come. To me, months are like tiny years. So much can happen in 30–31 days, that it’s good to take a deep breath and think about some of our intentions for this time period. Do you have any goals? What do you hope goes really well in the next month? Also, what was your biggest lesson or accomplishment from October?
As a very goal-oriented individual, I am currently finding my balance between my ambition and drive for the future, and a practice of presence, self-compassion, and encouragement towards the present-day version of myself. I’ve been journaling on recent accomplishments and appreciating the newer, healthy patterns I’ve developed along the way.
Because of this, I was inspired to create a guided meditation which helps you visualize your future-self, five years from now. Afterwards, I guide you through acknowledging, loving, and encouraging yourself as you are today.
I’ve been meditating at the start of my day for some time now, and it’s a game-changer. Dedicating a little time in the morning to connect with myself and higher source is invaluable, and now it’s hard to imagine it not being part of my routine. When my mind is awfully loud, it can be helpful to do guided/visualization meditations, like the one I created. It’s also nice to switch up what types of meditations you do and see what works for you.
If you feel called to, check it out below (it’s on my Youtube and podcast).
And a little disclaimer: the sound quality is poor in a couple parts, which was super annoying, but I decided to put it up anyways, because if I let the perfectionist side of me run the show, I’d probably never share anything 😉
Anyways, have an AMAZING weekend. You deserve it all.
I recently recorded a podcast about creativity, intuition, and co-creating with higher source.
It was inspired by a desire to express my creativity in different forms. While I have a little routine down of writing and making videos, my intuition led me to see what other ways I could share my message, and I was called to try podcasting again, which felt very fluid and free.
It’s good to step out of our comfort zones as creatives, to play, and to not be so rigid with our work and ourselves. As I have shared, I’m working on dropping the strict demands I have on myself to create a certain type of content on schedule (when it isn’t feeling good or aligned), and to let my work feel energizing and fun!
I would like to explore what it means to be a “hard worker” in a much different way. To view my projects as “play” and as a time to connect with higher source, using my passions as a form of mediation. Perhaps by tipping the scale in this playful direction, I will actually find balance between freedom and tangible results.
It’s a process that requires intuition, self-compassion, enthusiasm, and drive.
If you yourself are a creative, or are just curious about exploring your own intuition when it comes to creating or making decisions, then check out the podcast here.
“To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else — means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.”
— E.E.Cummings
Lately I’ve been thinking about authenticity, and becoming aware of the many ways in which I personally struggle with letting myself be myself. What do we really mean when we talk about being ourselves, anyways?
I’ve learned it’s a myriad of things, among those: expressing our personalities, living out our values and manifesting our creativity. But also, being true to who we are on a moment-to-moment basis by listening to our intuition, our bodies, and emotions. We’re constantly evolving, therefore being ourselves can mean something different today than it was yesterday, or even an hour ago.
It’s such an irony, that like E.E. Cummings said — being ourselves is one of the hardest things we’ll ever do. It seems so simple, yet there are many ways we’re constantly trying to fit into a box, and play by rules we never consciously chose.
Some of these rules may aim to define what happiness and success means to us, how to achieve it, or how we should go about spending our time. Though we’re not really taught to, we’re allowed to reject what seems to be the “norm” and make our own rules about anything, honoring who we are and what we want. One of my rules is: I will not work 40 hours per week unless it’s towards my own business. It’s a standard that’s true to my love for personal time and creativity.
Still, I struggle sometimes with paving my own path towards success in different arenas, using my values, personality, and intuition to dictate how I accomplish certain goals.
I recently enrolled in a Youtube course to grow my channel and wanted to spend a majority of the day going through the lessons and coming up with an idea for a video. The course teaches that video topics should be based on what our ideal audience is searching for, and suggests that we post videos consistently, ideally on the same day each week.
It’s counter-intuitive for me because my work is based on personal experiences (not searchability), and I’m accustomed to creating spur of the moment, without sticking to a schedule. Already I felt my creativity stifled by these rules, though I pushed through, trying to stay open to the suggestions of an expert.
Later on, I still had no idea what my next video would be on, and was frustrated with myself at not being able to play by these rules. Not only that, but I was incredibly bored. A part of me just wanted to play.
Wait up, I thought. What’s the point of the projects I work on? (My youtube videos, this newsletter, courses etc). To have fun! Because they bring joy to my life and enrich my experience. The point is not: to force myself to do something I don’t want to do, or to feel bored and stressed.
I am not going to make myself create on a schedule when it doesn’t feel good or isn’t fun, I told myself. And just like that, I had made my own rule to play by.
I’ve consumed my fair share of courses, books, webinars, and even had a business coach on the path to up-leveling my life and creating a business. I’m constantly downloading information on what I should do and how I should be — these prescribed formulas for success. And yesterday I had this moment of being fed up by it. Not necessarily by the well-meaning advice (which has oftentimes helped), but by the bypassing of my own intuition and desires on how I want to go about creating success.
The how you walk your path, is an opportunity to be unapologetically yourself. Listening to that voice within that sometimes whispers and sometimes screams. It’s trusting in yourself above all, and believing that your own nature knows the way.
You can be wildly yourself and still find what you were looking for. In fact, I think that’s the answer after all.
Today I’d like to invite you to challenge the way you were taught to seek happiness, or whatever feeling it is you desire to find.
We grew up believing that we needed things, experiences, accomplishments, and even people to make us feel happy, validated, and complete. We chased titles/careers, material wealth, and relationships only to find another ladder to climb at the end of each goal completed. Have you noticed that the seeking never really ends? You can get what you really wanted and shortly after, feel like there’s something else to reach for in order to be fully satisfied.
Becoming a flight attendant was a goal I really wanted to accomplish not too long ago. I begged the universe to help me land this opportunity and worked my butt off preparing for the interviews. I thought this job would be the perfect addition to my life; that I would no longer feel “lost,” or “stuck” and be set free with the opportunity to travel.
Yet, once I got it, it was entirely too easy to focus on the problems and difficulties within the industry. That “stuck” feeling continued to haunt me despite having obtained what I thought was the answer. I felt confined by my schedule and all the time away from home, and when I was in a place I really enjoyed, it was tainted with the sadness of having to leave shortly after.
These were some of the reasons not to be happy yet. And that’s when I realized I was in a perpetual state of suffering: always wanting more or something different in order to feel free.
Freedom is one of my most important values, the motivation behind so many life decisions, and what I always seem to be chasing.
But I decided that if I were to lead a fulfilled life, I would have to put an end to the never-ending chase and tap into all the ways that I’m already free. A.k.a.“align with the vibration of freedom.” When I talk about aligning to a vibration, what I mean is getting into the state of your desired feeling, in order to attract that which we want in life (Law of Attraction).
I pulled out my journal and started a list of different ways I’m free, discovering so much I’d taken for granted. I’m free to consume the books/films/music I choose; I’m free to dress how I want, I’m free to journal and mediate, I’m free to laugh and play. On a larger scale, I have total creative freedom (like writing this newsletter and making videos) which is so so valuable to me. Plus my job does allow me to travel and see the people I love around the world, which is the closest thing to teleporting I can get right now.
I was so taken aback by the incredible amount of ways I’m already free. I sat with that appreciation and let it light me up. It felt like I could finally ease into the adventure of this very moment. I could finally perceive how everything was flowing naturally and working out for me.
Since then, my attitude towards work has totally changed and in turn, I’m having more fun on a daily basis. I am finally sitting back, enjoying the journey, and appreciating the gifts picked up along the way.
It’s human to have this insatiable thirst for more; to believe that something else has the key to our happiness and completion. But as we grow, we learn to find that which we seek is already in our hands. We have the power of emotion and of perception, which once cultivated and tweaked can shape how we experience our reality.
And in my reality, I am finally free. How about yours?
Does anyone else sense how light the energy feels in August compared to July? I gotta admit July had some tough moments for me; I was overworked, missing home and feeling defeated towards the end of the month.
If you follow astrology you may have attributed July’s trying energy to Mercury Retrograde. In case you aren’t familiar, the retrograde wreaks havoc among technology, travel and communication. Plus, it fell during Cancer season, which brings forth our emotional and sensitive nature. Meaning, we were deep in our feels as this was unfolding.
The beautiful thing about life though, is that something can suddenly shift and you can wake up one day and everything feels fine again. Even really, really, good. Whether it’s a planetary shift or a simple change in perspective, nothing truly stays stagnant.
I’m so happy to be feeling more positive and like myself again, though l can now see that what felt like harsh lessons in July were an opportunity to show up as the most authentic version of me. I truly believe there is always something to learn from discomfort and that we have the capability to alchemize the darkness into something beautiful if we choose.
If you’re still feeling down, hang in there and let it flow. What really helped me to process the tough days was feeling into my heart during meditation. Meditation can be as simple as focusing on your breathing for a couple minutes a day, and I am starting to see how life changing it truly is. (The hype is real).
I hope though, that you are all well and enjoying the summer now that we near towards the end. I hope you have let the sun bathe your skin and that you’ve spent an entire day just being. You.
I recently felt inspired and made a Youtube video for the first time in 9 months.
I started a Youtube channel three years ago, while I was still living in Vietnam. At the time I was close to finishing my teaching contract and was unsure of what my next step in life would be, but was considering teaching in another country.
As part of my research I watched tons of videos about people’s experiences abroad to give me an idea of what living in other places might be like. It was then that I realized I had something to offer: my very own experience of Vietnam.
I didn’t have a proper camera, or a mic. I simply recorded on my laptop and spoke. Back then I didn’t even know how to edit videos, so I when I messed up the first couple minutes I had to start over again. After that I didn’t over think it, and just spoke about my experience. That video ended up being the most popular on my channel by far, with over 100k views to date.
Once I started to learn how to edit videos I got fancier with the quality and more demanding with myself about how they should look. Although I definitely had some fun creating them, they eventually started to feel like work. When I went back to basics, just me in front of the camera speaking my truth, I felt like it wasn’t good enough. I had so many mixed emotions about making videos. On one hand I had some success gaining viewers and subscribers and if felt rewarding to connect with others and create a video from start to finish. Yet, I was overly critical of myself which led me to “giving up” for some time. I figured if I I didn’t have the energy or will to do it near perfectly and consistently, I minus well not do it at all.
I happened to check on my channel the other day and noticed I had gained a number of new subscribers during my hiatus. It’s funny because I wasn’t trying to grow my channel, just as I had gone into my first video with zero expectation. I was inspired to go back to my beginner’s mindset and start over in a sense, without demanding too much of myself and having fun.
I was nervous at first, over thinking my words and stumbling over them. My perfectionist mind kept wanting to sound eloquent and hit all the points I was trying to make. It wasn’t polished but it came together after some editing. It was a step in the right direction because I finally put myself out there again in an imperfect way and with acceptance of that imperfection. I simply felt like sharing insights without demanding it look a certain way.
What I’d like for you to take away from this is that if you feel like sharing something, making something or being something but are feeling stuck due to perfectionism and over thinking, bring back the curiosity and playfulness of doing it for the first time. Let go of your own demands and need for it to look a certain way, and trust the process. Focus on having fun and let the chips fall where they may. If you stumble like I did, take a deep breath and remind yourself that the world doesn’t need any more “perfect,” it needs more You, doing what you love.
In my last newsletter I mentioned how I was challenging myself to work 10 hours towards my creative projects/side hustle. Last week I began mid-week and accomplished 3.5 hours which was under goal. I had planned on setting time during a long layover at the beach (in between dipping + tanning 😉 ), but was instead rerouted and worked non-stop for three days (oh the joys of working in the airline industry).
Sometimes things don’t go as planned but it’s all about how we react to the unexpected trajectories and perceived “failures.” Most importantly, it’ about the relationship we have with ourselves through it all.
In the past, failing to accomplishing a goal would have made me feel like a loser. Like I wasn’t trying hard enough and that it may not be worth it to continue striving. It would have fed a belief that I’m just not good at consistency or “putting in the work.”
But, I’m choosing a different story now. One of compassion and understanding. I am simply doing my best. The fact that I set aside 3.5 hours for my creative work is a win, specially during my first week of being more intentional about time. And this week—and for the many weeks to come, I have the opportunity to keep working towards those 10 hours in a positive way.
I choose to see this as progress rather than a set back. With that, the weight is removed from my shoulders, I can breathe deeper and continue having fun with this—(may I remind myself)—self imposed challenge.
Instead of not feeling valuable until I create a set amount of work, I can use this “challenge” as a practice of self love + compassion no matter what ❤
Working towards those 10 hours per week is more about the journey than the destination. Just like self love.
I’ll explain:
I used to think self love was a goal to reach, at the end of continual self development and improvement. Each time I thought I had finally reached the most ideal relationship with myself, I would be presented with an emotional challenge that revealed just how much more profound my self love could be; how there was so much more room to love and accept myself— in all the crevices that still carried shame, guilt, emptiness, or whichever emotion manifested the idea of not being enough. It’s a never ending journey with an opportunity for more depth at every moment, whether you’re enduring a high or a low.
I know better now than to think reaching a goal can define me or make me feel more valuable; in other words make me more lovable to myself.
The opportunity to truly love every bit of yourself lies in the journey of it all; which includes the imperfections, the failures and the incessant striving on its own. We have the power to feel enough and loved wherever we’re at, and when we do that, every dream and every goal becomes an added bonus—a fun journey to be had.
Let’s see what we can do, and all that we can accomplish from a place of already being enough.
Hope you’ve had a beautiful week thus far. I felt inspired to write the past few days because I’m coming to understand a lesson that is so vital, and which I wanted to share with you:
Things don’t have to align perfectly or according to plan in order for you to feel good.
My first month as a flight attendant has taught me a lot about protecting my energy regardless of circumstances. As exciting as it’s been, I’ve also experienced disappointment and frustration at times.
I love to travel and explore more than just about anything and of course that was a huge determinant for choosing this career. Ironically, I was assigned to work many “turns” the first month. A turn means I go somewhere and come right back, without stepping foot off the plane. Each time I was scheduled one of these, I felt my soul die a little.
I wanted so badly to see these destinations, to feel the freedom of walking through new streets, and take part in the adventure of new sights, smells and foods. I wanted to jump into this new career and experience as much as possible, as quickly as possible, but patience. is. a. virtue.
Anyways, last time I was assigned a turn to Honolulu and I’d been itching so bad to see Hawaii! Not only was I disappointment I wouldn’t explore—frankly, I was angry this would be something like a 14 hour day. In my mind I was clearly a victim to these unjust circumstances!
That morning though, I knew my attitude was setting me up to have a potentially terrible (long) day. I decided I was going to have fun at work regardless of where I was going. I put my make up on, felt extra cute and headed to the employee lounge to chill before my flight. I ended up meeting a genuinely kind and friendly man who’s been working as a flight attendant for thirty-something years.
That decision I made in the morning to feel good, plus the friendly conversation, created a snowball effect for the rest of the day. I was upbeat and extroverted when I met my crew and one of them said that man had told her she was going to love me. I just felt grateful.
Work was fun that day, and even when I was tired I had great conversation with the crew and appreciated the chillness of the passengers. Some would call this the law of attraction — your outer world reflects your inner vibration. So because I was in a space of joy, my day panned out smoothly and positively.
What was key in keeping my vibration high, was not getting bent up about things “not going my way” and deciding to have fun anyways. (Side note: I’m starting to think life is always going our way; it’s just our opinion of what “theway” should look like that’s causing frustration and pain).
Anyways, I’m still practicing “protecting my energy/vibe” day by day, specially when it comes to interacting with others. I realize how high I set the bar for people, even strangers. I often expect others to be very friendly, and when they’re not I have a negative reaction to it (another example of things “not going my way”).
When this happens, we can catch ourselves and become witnesses to our internal process. We can decide that our energy is too important and too special to be negatively affected by others or by situations outside of our control. It’s simply too volatile to constantly react.
Anytime throughout the day we can stop and remind ourselves of what we’d like to feel, and that we have the power to have fun, anyways.
It’s a gloomy day in LA but I’m happy to have some quiet, alone time before work to say hello!
Writing this newsletter means so much to me and I just want to say thank you for being a part of it 🙂
This newsletter has been a tether that’s kept me connected to long-term goals. I hope to one day have a larger platform, and if the universe will have it, to write a book (or maybe even two). Sending out these weekly emails is a small step I can consistently take, when life seems busy and fast and all the other creative work gets buried under the motions of the every day.
I’m discovering though, that the true importance of this “small step” is to bring me into the joy of the present. I am learning to form ideas from my experiences and give them a place outside of myself. I’m learning to share insights that could also give comfort or guidance to others, the way I’ve found comfort in others’ words and work; teachers I’ve never even met.
I’m realizing how fulfilling it is to accomplish this one task, and that I’d still be happy and complete, if nothing else came of it but an outlet to express. And I believe that’s an indication of finding something good.
In that sense, writing this newsletter is no longer a means to an end, but a purpose on its own. And that perspective gives me the freedom to fully appreciate it in the now, rather than waiting to feel fulfilled or accomplished in an illusory future.
So tell me, is there a passion of yours you could bring more presence and appreciation into today and in this week to come?
xxGabriela
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A heavy chest. Heart beats rushing one after the other. Knots at my back and neck. Irritability.
This is how stress manifests itself in me. And when these symptoms begin, I know something’s got to give.
Right now, there’s a lot on my plate. In about two weeks, I’ll be leaving to train for a new career. (I wish I could disclose more about this, but I can’t just yet). I have a long list of to-do’s, and lots of homework on top of it. Plus, I wanted to create enough podcasts + content so that I could guarantee my creative work wouldn’t fall to the wayside during the eight weeks I’m gone.
But this was all too much for me to worry about at once, on top of all the regular life things and chores.
I needed to look at my plate clearly, and see what I could afford to take off. What helped with this process was to talk it out with my partner. I listed the things that were stressing me out — all those tasks I felt needed to absolutely get done beforehand, and he reminded me that I was putting a lot of pressure on myself.
This is a habit which often leads to stress — setting the expectations and the bar so high for yourself that it’s too exhausting to reach. I needed to accept that if I were to set out and do ALL these things, I would likely end up drained and sick.
I had to prioritize what TRULY needed to get done, which was preparing for my departure and getting all my homework completed. As soon as I decided to release the expectations that I would create all this content before leaving, I felt so much lighter. My list was now doable and felt spacious — like there was actually enough time to get it all done AND properly rest.
Though it isn’t ideal (I would love to have it ALL DONE), it is an act of self-love to hone in on the expectations set for yourself, and make sure that you’re getting enough rest, feeling good, and not drowning in all the self-imposed work.
So, remember that if you too, are feeling stress and overwhelm, you may have more choice than you currently believe about what stays on your plate, and what you can afford to let go of—for now.
Freedom-Based Living 