Staying Positive in Times of Rejection

I am back in Utah now, and it seems that Fall suddenly happened while I was away. having grown up in San Francisco, I’m not very accustomed to seasons. It blows me away how suddenly the landscape can change and how aware we can become that time is moving forward, often urging us to rethink our direction in life.

A new path I’m currently pursuing is finding a part time job here in Salt Lake City while I work on my passion projects.

I’ve found it disheartening to either not hear back from some places, or to feel like there are slim pickings in terms of the types of jobs I actually want, and those that pay decently. I’m not usually the type to be discouraged, since I often try to look at the bright-side of things, so this disappointment hasn’t been an easy feeling to digest.

With that, I am reminded to be extra gentle with myself and to trust in the universe. Rejection, though oftentimes painful, is an opportunity to have faith in your unique path. When I don’t get that one job I wanted, I think: There is another one out there I’m supposed to have (possibly an even better one!) and some great people I am bound to meet. I just have to be patient and have faith.

Today I was actually offered a decent position and became aware of another one I could pursue, too. The key is to stay open, flexible and optimistic. And if you really really want something, rejection can be a way of testing that desire + your determination to push forward and try again.

How do you handle rejection & what are some ways to deal with it that feel more positive for you?

Would love to hear your thoughts. You can email me or find me on insta @gabrielammelgar anytime.

Shake it up

Greetings from Washington D.C. !

Sometimes you just have to fly 2,000 miles to be somewhere new with your best friend; that one person who’s known you most of your life, who can offer support and give you feedback when you’re stuck looking at things in black and white.

This was a very impromptu trip for me (first time purchasing a flight the day of), and it’s been nice to be reminded of the type of person I can be: spontaneous, flighty (literally), fun and adventurous. Travel has always been a priority of mine because it fills me with a sense of gratitude for life, for all the beauty and diversity of the world and for the amazing people in it.

I try to live life at home with the same type of attitude and curiosity, but I must admit that travel brings me right to the present moment and snaps me out of a type of complacency we can all feel in our daily routines. The upside of it too, is a sense of appreciation for everything you have at home, waiting for you.

If you’re finding yourself at home, and maybe realizing you’re a little too attached to your routine, or perhaps stuck on one perspective, you don’t have to fly 2,000 miles away like me to switch things up (though, please be my guest!)

Here’s a list of things you can do to shake things up from where you are:

Call someone you love who can offer you a new perspective on a subject you’ve been pondering or are stuck on in your life.
Go to a park, restaurant, or neighborhood you’ve never been to or rarely explore. Try and be present without any distractions, and soak it all in.
Change up your routine. Maybe you’ve been trying to incorporate a morning jog before heading to work, or you want to try a new route.
Read a book or listen to a podcast on a subject you’re curious on but don’t know much about.
Hang out with someone you’d like to get to know better, or try out a Meetup in your area.
And lastly, when bored, reach for something different. If you always go for your phone or Netflix, try drawing something, starting a puzzle, knitting a scarf, or whatever else might be fun and engaging for you!

I hope that if you’re inspired to, you can take a small step towards gaining a new perspective on life, or perhaps just a greater sense of appreciation for all that you’ve got going on now.

Moving Forward

So much has changed for me the last two weeks. Not having a website and message that was authentic to me was a big stumbling block I’m glad to have moved past. I felt stuck without this missing piece; without knowing and voicing to the world how I wanted to help my clients. I had to find my own voice in this.

Now, I know that my simple goal is to help others connect to their inner-guidance and live more joyously. I finally feel like I can move forward at rocket speed. It was scary but really exhilarating to announce my new website/content and introduce the fact that I’m even a life coach across all my social media platforms: to my family, friends and acquaintances.

All these worries about what people might think of me popped into my head. Maybe they were thinking: who does she think she is? I let the fear wash over me and then released it, because I’m too busy taking action and moving forward to dwell. Now, when I share about my business online, I simply post it and let it go.

I am learning to believe in my message; to believe I have something valuable to offer and to make it less about me, and more about how I can serve others. It’s such a process and I am having fun with this whole thing.

I’ve had the opportunity to coach various people the last few days and it’s been an amazing experience! I feel like I’ve genuinely connected and helped them. By the end of our sessions, there is a spike in their energy and I’ve received some awesome feedback. It reminds me of why I want to do this work, and also that I am a capable and dedicated coach.

What I’ve learned from these past two weeks is how valuable it is to investigate what is holding us back in moving forward with goals. Is it that you don’t feel like what you’re doing is authentic? Are you still looking for the right words? Is there a missing piece? Or is it the fear of what others think that’s stopping you?

It’s important to bring awareness to what we need to shift through in order to move forward, grow and expand. To be fierce in our determination of sharing our purpose with the world. We deserve it, and so does the world.

Let the new chapter begin.

Happy Monday, everyone! Mondays are sort of strange for me these days, I’m actually excited for them! After taking it easy on the weekend and spending quality time with my partner and foster doggy, I know it’s time for me to get back to my work.

This Monday is special because I am launching an updated website, that feels more like me. I believe my current mission to is to see how my coaching business can positively impact others and change my life. There’s a fire in my belly, urging me to get this work out, and see what type of feedback I receive from the world.

Throughout this journey, I’ve stumbled with my own self confidence. I’ve thought: who am I to be doing this–to be coaching? Or, how can I just decide to start my own business and dictate my own life and schedule? Sometimes I felt like I was living in my own fantasy, waiting for the bubble to burst.

For months now, I have been experimenting and learning. I hired a business coach and took several courses, worked thoroughly on my own self-development and came to the conclusion that now it is time for my own inner-guidance to take the lead. From this point on, I am trusting myself to know best & to take forward only the information and lessons that resonate with me.

The truth is, after listening and experimenting with so many other opinions on how to grow this business, I’ve been waiting to give birth to my mission in a way that feels authentic to me.

The re-vamp of my website represents this new chapter. It was created to express what feels true in my heart: I want to help others connect to their inner-guidance and live joyous lives, and I am bringing forth the confidence that I am prepared to do it.

Love,

Gabriela

Examining Worry

Sometimes I worry that I’ll end up unsuccessful and broke. Do I really believe that? No; but I’m programmed to think worry is a natural reaction to the uncertainties of being an entrepreneur.

I grew up with a single mother, who–naturally, worried and stressed about money, and with a grandmother who achieved financial security through hard work and controlled spending. I learned that to be a responsible, safe adult, I have to have a reliable source of income, save, and spend sparingly.

Quite frankly, I’m doing the opposite of that right now. I don’t know when or how my next earnings will show up, and I’m living off savings to invest time on pursuing my dreams. Nothing is certain, except for the faith I have in myself, which can sometimes feel…odd.

Anybody else in my shoes would be worried, I sometimes think; so I let the worry creep in in order to feel “normal.” During these moments, I worry about how my business will pan out, if I’m spending too much, and whether I’m crazy.

But, I’m beginning to realize that the worry isn’t even mine. I’ve taken on the worry that my family feels, and the worry I assume a normal person in my situation would feel.

It reminds me of when I decided to move to Vietnam for a year. I’d never been before and I didn’t speak any Vietnamese, so when I told people about my plans to move there, some reacted surprised and concerned. They expected me to be scared, but I wasn’t. I had faith in myself.

Was I crazy, then? I’d question. Maybe I should be scared, I thought, so I tried it on. I told someone I was scared about my move just to see how the words felt, and they responded, “I’d be worried if you weren’t.”

Maybe we live in a world that’s more understanding of worry and fear versus faith and belief in ourselves. From my experience, one is more normal than the other.

I’m learning to own my faith and use it as a critical tool in moving forward with my goals. I have to accept that I may be misunderstood in that, and that sometimes others will express their loving concerns; but I don’t have to take on their doubts as my own. If to them it means I’m living in the clouds, so be it. Life’s more fun up here, where anything is possible.

Battling Doubt

Thursday was my day to make Youtube videos, except I didn’t feel like it. I had a plan set out for it and everything: to do a live and continue my “Tea Time Thursdays” series I only started a couple weeks ago, as well to record a second video.

Instead, I spent most of the day strolling through Millcreek, just south of Salt Lake, enticed by a new age store I discovered walking to an appointment. Inside, I purchased a shiny blue-purple stone called Peacock Ore which was said to, “enhance inner knowing and strengthen perception.” Though I was instinctively attracted to its beauty, I realized I could use some of its healing powers, too.

I’d been feeling doubtful of some of the new directions I was going with my business, like broadening my coaching niche, focusing on new projects, and this desire to break from making Youtube videos, or at least, wanting to loosen the pressure on myself to create them. I wanted to figure out whether or not these changes were wise.

A part of me scorned my lack of consistency (in life, business, and now, Youtube). This part insisted Youtube was my ticket to building a greater audience and success in my business. Plus, I’d told my subscribers I’d be making two videos per week in attempt to motivate myself. This felt like the thing I was “supposed” to do.

Yet, just the thought of making a video felt like work in a way that new projects didn’t.

I was confused on how to move forward with this dilemma. Should I continue making Youtube videos for the sake of consistency, or move on to shiny new things?

There were two opinions in me, battling it out, so I decided to bring this inner-dialogue to life through writing.

I took out my journal and told each side they had equal time and space to say whatever they needed to, without judgement. On one corner, we had what I perceived to be “the voice of logic,” the pro-Youtube/consistency one, and on the other side we had what I called “airy intuition”– the flighty, creative, and idealistic part of me who wants to do everything on my terms and with joy.

Logic said this: You’re going to abandon Youtube? That’s where your audience lives. That is the platform with the most promise to you. What’s your mom going to say? You look like a flake, jumping from one thing to the next. How are you going to grow a business with all this flakiness? Barely anyone reads your blog anyways.

Then, there was the counterargument.

Airy intuition: I am not a “flake.” I am not giving up on my business. I am simply taking it in a new direction that feels good to me. I have been pretty consistent with my blog and super excited about the new projects coming up. I got this! This doesn’t have to mean that I’m giving up on Youtube forever. It simply means most of my content building is going in a new direction. Those that roll with me will roll with this new direction, too. There’s a reason I’m not as interested in Youtube right now, and that’s okay.

I learned that what I had deemed as the voice of “logic” was more like an inner-critic. It was doubtful and scared of my new choices. It brought up what my mom might think and what I would be perceived as by others. “Flakiness” was thrown out a couple times, and it seemed angry at me for continually changing and trying new things.

On the other hand, “airy intuition” was not totally “airy” after all. She had some solid, reasonable points for why I wasn’t a flake and stood firm by my choices. Not only that, but she was encouraging, and seemed to come from a place of belief in myself.

It was eye-opening to see this dialogue on paper. I understood that the resistance towards moving in newer, more exciting directions in my business was coming from a place of fear and self-criticism, and that although I could make space for that opinion to speak, I didn’t have to succumb to it. Instead, I could expand my attention towards the “airy intuition” voice and harness that belief in myself and the bravery to follow my highest excitement.

Applying This Technique To Your Journey

This inner-dialogue journaling tool can be used whenever your in the midst of a tricky decision, are feeling self-doubt, or just need to untangle your thought process around a certain topic. You’ll be surprised at what you discover when you make space for the parts of yourself, and listen.

Turning In

One of the things that’s appealing about writing a blog to me, is that it’s not highly recommended these days. Most business coaches would tell you it’s a better idea to focus on growing your social media, to create videos, or even start a podcast. But a blog–that’s outdated.

I guess I have a rebellious streak. I yearn for authenticity and even if writing is no longer popular, it feels great to do it. This medium allows me to express my thoughts in a way that’s uniquely me.

This blog represents going with my gut. Choosing a path that feels right to me, regardless of what some seasoned experts say. My passion lies in living a life that’s truly authentic, and helping others do the same. This blog is an ode to that.

As an entrepreneur, it’s been tricky to make decisions based solely on what feels right to me. You have all this freedom, yet that freedom can be overwhelming and sort of frightening. For over a year now, I’ve studied the words of other successful entrepreneurs, taken courses, and even hired a business coach. Some of their methods didn’t always jive with me, but I’ve tried them anyways. Other times, I’ve gotten stuck and refused to do anything–whether it was their way or mine.

This push and pull between what feels right to me and other people’s methods and opinions has been a defining part of my journey. Though I was learning from the process itself, and from these mentors, I felt, in many ways, that I wasn’t being true to my own inner guidance.

One of the stronger suggestions I received from coaching mentors was to pick a niche (an area of expertise), and focus on one problem I could help my clients solve. This idea felt confining to me–hell, even the idea of labeling myself solely as a “coach” felt confining. I wanted to expand, to create without limitations. I yearned for the freedom to express myself in whichever way felt right, and to share whatever message I was inspired to contribute, regardless if it fit my niche or not.

Then, I thought about the people I admired and how they had reached success by being rule breakers, or by creating their own unique strategies at life and business. They had owned their authenticity and ran with their intuition. I realized, there is no prescription to my ideal life and definition of success, and if I was going to trail blaze my way through this, I’d have to do it by following my gut.

Create.

I’m going about my business and projects as if they’re a real job from now on. What do I mean by that? I mean that I’m giving myself deadlines, assigning daily tasks, and holding myself accountable. After all, I am my own boss. I never took that part to heart before. I was much too lenient with my personal deadlines and would easily get distracted throughout the day. Before I knew it a week would escape me without much achieved.

Now, I aim to step up my content creation. I want to enhance my ability to come up with new ideas as well as ways to express them–but overall, the goal is to balance out the amount I create vs. consume. It was so much easier to just be a consumer: listening and watching other inspirational people thrive and create. I was inspired, but didn’t do anything with that inspiration. I didn’t enter the dialogue myself.

I believe that creativity is a muscle. I’m learning to work through my imperfections when it comes to exercising it. I didn’t like to create and put anything out there that didn’t feel polished enough, or resembled the effortless excellence of other people’s works. The thing is, without stumbling, trying and failing, I can’t get better. Nothing happens when I wait for all the elements to come together. Time leaves me.