Life-Design

Hello again, friends!

I missed you last week but it was essential for me to pause and simply be. My grandmother recently passed away and I needed time to sit with the news, to reconnect with family, and finally — to rest.

With the news of my grandmother’s passing, everything was put on hold for a little, as feelings demanded to be felt and surrendered to. The grieving process is a strange one, with unpredictable waves of peace, then disbelief, mixed in with pangs of sorrow that hit you out of nowhere. I’m not sure that I can (or ever) will fully comprehend the totality of losing someone you love, or of the sureness of death. We fall for forever every time, despite knowing that death is natural and will happen to us all — and generally, to our grandparents sooner rather than later. Still, it catches you off guard.

I wasn’t planning on fully delving into grief today. I wanted more so to connect on the issue of time. But the process of losing someone reawakened something in me. This need to be the observer in my life again — to take a step back, to reassess, and rebuild.

I’m recognizing more and more how the feeling of being constantly rushed, along with my own expectations of productivity had a hold of me, even though there was no need for the acute intensity of it all. Sure, the energy of modern life is quick and easy to become submerged in — but I have more control of my experience with time and productivity than I initially thought.

Life-Design:

Something I’m deeply passionate about is what I like to call “life design.” To me, it means being boldly intentional about our goals and desires and creating our own individual blueprint for how we want our lives to look like. Each person’s values and personality are unique, and the way the different facets of our lives come together (our careers, relationships, and schedules to name a few) should reflect that as best as possible.

If we’re not consciously aware of our own desires and value systems, it’s easy to fall into societal conditioning and give into that gnawing pressure to do this or that on some sort of timeline — whether it be marrying by a certain age, or striving for a version of “success” you may not even agree upon.

The point of life design is to determine your own definition of success and of a good life. Not society’s. Not your family’s, nor your friends. It poses you to determine what is of most value to you, and to consider what you’re willing to do in order to reshape the way you structure your time and energy according to those values.

Part of my own journey has involved shedding what others expected of me — particularly the pressures I felt most strongly from my grandmother to succumb to a type of life I didn’t want to live.

In grandma’s ideal reality, I would’ve been a doctor, an accountant, or worked in any sort of office, honestly. Something conventional and easy to define. (She never understood what “life coaching” was, and I stopped trying to explain). I also would’ve been married to a handsome prince (literally, a prince) and stayed close to home, forever.

But my wild soul was stubborn and loud, and I answered its call, which took me around the globe, searching searching searching for my own version of a good life. Most of the time, that just meant freedom. Freedom to travel, to explore, and to be on a creative path. It then evolved to finding my purpose and turning my passions into a living, which is what I’m currently working on.

But the striving became too tiring. I demanded a lot of myself on a daily basis, struggled with comparison, and became worn out. Luckily, I didn’t fully burn-out, but I suspect I was headed there. This pace became my norm, my auto-pilot — until recently.

Every so often, life calls for a re-design.

These days, I am working on appreciating time. Not being so quick to spend it on accomplishing task after task, but really sulking in the moments. It looks like:

Giving myself the space to enjoy the process. Focusing on one thing at a time, and delving into one fraction of a project at once. Meditating for longer, allowing myself to do things for fun, or simply relishing in a cup of coffee or the way the sunshine feels on my skin after a long winter. It was a decision to redefine success as the enjoyment of the little moments that make up a day; a lifetime.

The days feel longer, with more profound focus, and there’s been a birthing of new ideas. Overall, it’s a better relationship with myself and with time. I can breathe, and remember that it was never a race to begin with, it was more like a road trip headed home.

xxGabriela

Natural State

I hope that today you can find at least a couple minutes to do a little self care, whether it’s taking deep breaths throughout the day, a full on work out class or staying mindfully hydrated. I’m all about the little things we can do throughout the day to take care of ourselves and check in.

I’m taking the time to slow down today, and have come to know that writing this newsletter is a form of self-care for me, which is so lovely!

This week I experienced some stress and noticed how my energy and sense of security was shaken. Throughout the years of learning how to take care of my mind, body, and spirit I have come to create a type of vibration I am truly comfortable being in. My natural state is optimistic and focused on the realm of possibility. I see life as one big opportunity to expand and reach our potential and I am so blessed to inhabit a healthy body which I try to nourish as best as possible. This is not to say that I am anywhere near perfect! Throughout the day my emotional state alters, sometimes I entertain negative thoughts and worry, and turn to less than healthy foods as a form of comfort. But I now have a strong sense of awareness for when I’m altering out of my grateful state — and when I’m at my best, I can hold space for discomfort as it emerges & have patience and love for myself regardless of where I’m at.

My offering to you today is a suggestion to bring awareness to your natural state. What are you feeling (in mind/body/and spirit) most of the time? What thoughts are you entertaining? What do you prefer to feel and what things can you do to get closer to that state? How can you make those things a habit?

The habits which have created my natural state have included: alone time, journaling, creativity, gratitude, exercise, meditation and of course eating as well as possible. It took some shifting and a strong intention to love and nurture myself to turn those things into habits, but it was so so worth it!

And of course, sometimes things may come up that shake that sense of comfort you begin to find in your natural state. Sometimes we may have to make space for grief, or observe as stress and worry work their ways through us. But when we create a foundation of habits that bring us back to feeling nurtured and taken care of, we have a stronger sense of who we actually are and no longer have to fully identify with negative thoughts and feelings. At my core, I am a passionate lover of life, some might even say a reckless optimist. Sometimes the world bumps up against that hopeful joy (or vice versa) and I have to find my footing again. But as hard as some experiences can be, I know how to find my way back home to that soft core, where hope and joy never cease to exist.

Adapting and Transitioning

Now that I’m a full blown New Yorker and here 100% of the time, I’ve noticed how much faster I’m moving on a day-to-day basis. Each minute feels like an opportunity to be productive, and sometimes it’s too much to try and keep up. Perhaps this is not just a New York thing, and no matter where you’re at, you may be facing similar feelings, too. Let’s pause and breathe for a minute.

I mentioned in my last newsletter that I’d left my job as a flight attendant and started working at a healing center in NY. I’ve been processing so many emotions about the transition — both happy and uncomfortable ones. Moving quickly and filling my days with tasks was a great way to distract myself from the self-doubting feelings that arose. I now realized how much I was imposing on myself to accomplish and that I have much more control in slowing down and setting the pace of my own life.

It’s rare for me to not be in some sort of transition, and in a sense, all of us are constantly needing to adapt. Whether it’s adapting to the season, to a new environment, or perhaps to a more subtle change, like a new perspective or revelation. It’s so important to be gentle with ourselves and allow the proper space to process it all, and there are many ways to do this.

I recently did two live streams on Youtube in regards to these topics. One is: How to Support Yourself Through a Transition, and the other is Slow Down and Reduce Stress and Overwhelm.

In both videos I offer some tips on how you can make small changes to create more space for mindfulness, self-care, and support.

What’s one thing you can do today to help you through whatever it is you’re processing?

For me, it’s participating in a positive and uplifting inner-dialogue. Nourishing myself with thoughts of gratitude, and of hope and excitement for the future. It really is the little things that can brighten our experience, help us feel taken care of, and make it easier to take it day by day.

You got this 🙂

Thank You

We’re on the verge of this new year-this new decade and though I’ve been working through this holiday season, I wanted to take some time to spend New Year’s Eve with you. It’s brought me so much joy to write these newsletters this year, to spend time each week processing my life’s unfolding, and to share nuggets of wisdom with you.

What I have to say is: THANK YOU. Thank you for your readership, for the kind words you’ve shared with me, for seeing me and connecting with my journey. Thank you for being on a healing journey of your own, for the light that you bring to the world, and for stepping into your growth, even when it’s difficult.

There were times when you reached out about how a newsletter resonated with you in that moment, as you were experiencing something similar. These were reassurances that we are all, in fact−in it together, and connected by this wild experience we call LIFE.

I’m so grateful for another year. I’m no longer afraid of the uncertainties, or the difficulties that are part of the package, wrapped and mixed together with the bliss, and most importantly−the love. This year, I navigated some dark portals of the mind, and faced experiences which at the time, felt like defeat. But in the end, there was always the choice and the gift of healing, closely intertwined with creating and sharing with you.

I have found my purpose. To take in all experiences as medicine and to continue to create. Again, thank you for being part of it. Thank you for just being here.

Wishing you and your loved ones a fantastic year ahead.

Curiosity Feels

I struggled to come up with a topic for today’s newsletter, primarily because I’ve been going through some decision making and feeling unclear.

I like to share clarity and positivity when I write these emails, but that’s just one part of me, which is less prevalent on some days.

If I’m honest, there are just as many parts of me that are unsure, scared, saddened, angry, apathetic — you name it. And it is generally more difficult to accept and hold space for those emotions which we may deem as “negative.”

Generally, we are all more comfortable in the light, and may struggle to truly experience the discomforts of certain feelings — which is why it’s a lifelong challenge to create room for their expression as they emerge.

I’ve found that in some ways, the more I work on myself and the more aware I become of how powerful the mind is in shifting my experience, the more responsibility I bare on my shoulders to think and be positive.

While I definitely advocate for all the goodness that comes along with a positive mindset, it’s just as important to witness and be honest with our current experience, whatever that may be.

Rather than trying to bypass it and immediately reach for a positive thought and feeling, we can begin to get curious about the emotions that come up.

Some questions to ponder are:

What am I feeling right now and how is it showing up in my body?
What does it look like?
What thoughts, if any, lead me to that emotion?
If this feeling were to talk, what would it share? (Allow yourself to get playful with this. You can give different parts of you names, voices, and whatever modes of expression you want to explore).

Oftentimes it’s more than one feeling or part of you that comes up , so be mindful of that, and feel free to explore the unique characteristics of each.

All feelings are equally valuable and can teach us something important. For example, anger can often indicate where there’s room to shift and honor our boundaries. Uncertainty shows us that there’s a realm of possibilities and opportunities available to us.

And sometimes, we just don’t know what they are trying to teach or how to even move forward, and that’s something to witness, too.

The more curious we get, the more the judgement fades away, creating space for the feelings to move through freely so they can begin to shift.

I hope this can be helpful to some of you. It certainly was the reminder I needed myself.

Like always, feel free to reach out! And remember to stay curious.

Tipping the Scale

I recently recorded a podcast about creativity, intuition, and co-creating with higher source.

It was inspired by a desire to express my creativity in different forms. While I have a little routine down of writing and making videos, my intuition led me to see what other ways I could share my message, and I was called to try podcasting again, which felt very fluid and free.

It’s good to step out of our comfort zones as creatives, to play, and to not be so rigid with our work and ourselves. As I have shared, I’m working on dropping the strict demands I have on myself to create a certain type of content on schedule (when it isn’t feeling good or aligned), and to let my work feel energizing and fun!

I would like to explore what it means to be a “hard worker” in a much different way. To view my projects as “play” and as a time to connect with higher source, using my passions as a form of mediation. Perhaps by tipping the scale in this playful direction, I will actually find balance between freedom and tangible results.

It’s a process that requires intuition, self-compassion, enthusiasm, and drive.

If you yourself are a creative, or are just curious about exploring your own intuition when it comes to creating or making decisions, then check out the podcast here.

New York Bound

The past few days I’ve been taking some space. Some space to feel through this transition, some space to enjoy Salt Lake City, and some space for self-care. I spent two days at the spa and I have no regrets. Though I could feel on a surface level how my move from Salt Lake to NYC was affecting me, I knew that I had to go deeper and allow myself to mourn and accept this change, as well as to offer myself the support and care I desired.

I noticed a few days ago that I started to get pain in different parts of my body, particularly in my hand. I looked up what emotions hand pain could be linked to, and found that it can indicate trouble letting go. That hit home.

It’s hard to admit that I am struggling with that, because I want to jump into life in New York City weightless, and with open arms. But it’s difficult to leave something you built, even if that was an emotional refuge of sorts.

I experienced so much growth, love, and companionship in Salt Lake, that despite the things the city lacked for me, I know I’ll look back at this chapter with gratitude and some nostalgia. I can now see the beauty in having had something wonderful enough to miss.

When we feel uprooted, we can remind ourselves that home is where the heart is — in you. Each time I move, I’m astounded at the ability to make a home within myself; how one can take refuge in their bodies and being.

Another quote comes to mind: “Everywhere you go, there you are.” It carried a negative connotation when it was first presented to me, like, “You can never run away from yourself.” But, isn’t that perfect, too?

You will always, always have yourself, your one true home. And when we move from chapter to chapter, we’re really just renovating our inner home, using new experiences, connections and energies as building blocks.

When I think of my transition in those terms, it makes it easier to let go of a physical place, and of an experience. Life in Salt Lake changed my inner world, and I take that with me, this time as I build.

On Being Yourself

“To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else — means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.”

— E.E.Cummings

Lately I’ve been thinking about authenticity, and becoming aware of the many ways in which I personally struggle with letting myself be myself. What do we really mean when we talk about being ourselves, anyways?

I’ve learned it’s a myriad of things, among those: expressing our personalities, living out our values and manifesting our creativity. But also, being true to who we are on a moment-to-moment basis by listening to our intuition, our bodies, and emotions. We’re constantly evolving, therefore being ourselves can mean something different today than it was yesterday, or even an hour ago.

It’s such an irony, that like E.E. Cummings said — being ourselves is one of the hardest things we’ll ever do. It seems so simple, yet there are many ways we’re constantly trying to fit into a box, and play by rules we never consciously chose.

Some of these rules may aim to define what happiness and success means to us, how to achieve it, or how we should go about spending our time. Though we’re not really taught to, we’re allowed to reject what seems to be the “norm” and make our own rules about anything, honoring who we are and what we want. One of my rules is: I will not work 40 hours per week unless it’s towards my own business. It’s a standard that’s true to my love for personal time and creativity.

Still, I struggle sometimes with paving my own path towards success in different arenas, using my values, personality, and intuition to dictate how I accomplish certain goals.

I recently enrolled in a Youtube course to grow my channel and wanted to spend a majority of the day going through the lessons and coming up with an idea for a video. The course teaches that video topics should be based on what our ideal audience is searching for, and suggests that we post videos consistently, ideally on the same day each week.

It’s counter-intuitive for me because my work is based on personal experiences (not searchability), and I’m accustomed to creating spur of the moment, without sticking to a schedule. Already I felt my creativity stifled by these rules, though I pushed through, trying to stay open to the suggestions of an expert.

Later on, I still had no idea what my next video would be on, and was frustrated with myself at not being able to play by these rules. Not only that, but I was incredibly bored. A part of me just wanted to play.

Wait up, I thought. What’s the point of the projects I work on? (My youtube videos, this newsletter, courses etc). To have fun! Because they bring joy to my life and enrich my experience. The point is not: to force myself to do something I don’t want to do, or to feel bored and stressed.

I am not going to make myself create on a schedule when it doesn’t feel good or isn’t fun, I told myself. And just like that, I had made my own rule to play by.

I’ve consumed my fair share of courses, books, webinars, and even had a business coach on the path to up-leveling my life and creating a business. I’m constantly downloading information on what I should do and how I should be — these prescribed formulas for success. And yesterday I had this moment of being fed up by it. Not necessarily by the well-meaning advice (which has oftentimes helped), but by the bypassing of my own intuition and desires on how I want to go about creating success.

The how you walk your path, is an opportunity to be unapologetically yourself. Listening to that voice within that sometimes whispers and sometimes screams. It’s trusting in yourself above all, and believing that your own nature knows the way.

You can be wildly yourself and still find what you were looking for. In fact, I think that’s the answer after all.

On Change

We’ve all heard it before: change is inevitable. I tend to seek change before it comes looking, sweeping the rug of comfortability from under me. But this time, change came before I was totally ready, stirring some fear and doubt in me that feels oddly new.

I’ve moved from El Salvador to the U.S., Cali to Ohio, SF to Hanoi and then to SLC. Throughout all the relocations I was always excited to pack up my things and try something new. I looked forward to unknown horizons and experiences, sometimes in ways that boggled and worried my friends and family. Boredom and complacency is my #1 enemy, yet the older I grow, the more comfortable I get with the comfortable.

A few weeks ago I got news that I’ll be transferring from LA to NY for work (Though I live in SLC, I commute into LA). This news would have had me jumping up and down with glee a couple years ago. Living in NY has been a dream of mine since I began religiously watching Sex and the City at 12. But in Salt Lake, I finally got to build a home for myself. One that I felt warmth, love, and support in, in a place that’s beautiful and peaceful. What more could you want, really?

The thing is: I’ve noticed myself flatlining in Salt Lake. My life is so comfortable that I don’t stir up any change. I’ve become such a homebody, savoring the sweetness of my space and my lover, sitting on my porch and watching the mornings go by. I’m basically eighty years old. All jokes aside, as peaceful as it is, this isn’t all that my soul wants for me right now.

My soul desires an environment that inspires, challenges and excites me so I can develop my talents and creativity. It desires a community of artists, healers, and teachers to offer support on my entrepreneurial journey. It desires an environment where I can be most of service to others.

I know these truths to exist within me, but it’s hard for my mind to jump onboard when I seemingly have something good going already. As good as it is, my heart is too aware of the possibility of something great ahead.

So I took a gamble. I applied for a transfer, putting down SLC as my first choice (which would have made my life oh so easy), and NYC as my second. I told myself that if I got NYC, I would finally move there.

I let the universe decide, and it chose growth.

Now I’m dealing with the repercussions of that decision—the saying goodbye to a phase in life that gave me the opportunity to restore, to rest, and to appreciate the pleasantries of safety and simplicity. I truly have appreciated it, and that’s something that makes it much easier to accept change—when you’ve taken the time to enjoy what’s ultimately a passing phase.

All the details will fall into place, and I guess the thing that gives my mind anxiety is wondering if the right decision has been made. I won’t really know, until I’ve experienced both possibilities. But I do know what I fear the most: the never knowing nor experiencing what could have been.

So here’s to change—to letting it transform you even if you don’t feel ready. Trust your soul is.

Gratitude, Patience and Trust

I’ve been riding a wave since my last newsletter—one of flow, acceptance, and trust. It’s been blissful really, not feeling resistance to where I currently am in life, and enjoying the journey as it unfolds.

When I last wrote, I talked about tapping into the feeling of “freedom,” which is my #1 motivator in life and essential to my well-being and happiness. There were times when I viewed my circumstances as a barrier to freedom, but I’ve been able to change my perspective by tuning into the abundance of freedom I already have. A change of perspective is everything, and in this case, I’ve noticed how much more chill I am about reaching my goals.

It’s not that my ambition has decreased in any way. Simply put, I’m taking the time to smell the roses on the way to where I’d like to eventually be. I’m no longer in a state of rush or frustration because I can tap into whatever it is I want to feel now. There’s less stress and more fun. Less worry about the future and more presence to the beauty of this moment. There’s confidence that this is where I’m supposed to be now, and that it is glorious in its own way.

I call this being in flow. Finally swimming with the stream and not against it.

To boil it down, I’ve found the mindset shift into flow consists of three pillars: gratitude, patience, and trust.

Gratitude for all the blessings and opportunities you currently have.
Patience towards the journey.
And trust that all is unfolding as it should and that your success is inevitable.

I hope that you can enjoy where you are today and have more fun as you make your way towards your desired future.