On Change

We’ve all heard it before: change is inevitable. I tend to seek change before it comes looking, sweeping the rug of comfortability from under me. But this time, change came before I was totally ready, stirring some fear and doubt in me that feels oddly new.

I’ve moved from El Salvador to the U.S., Cali to Ohio, SF to Hanoi and then to SLC. Throughout all the relocations I was always excited to pack up my things and try something new. I looked forward to unknown horizons and experiences, sometimes in ways that boggled and worried my friends and family. Boredom and complacency is my #1 enemy, yet the older I grow, the more comfortable I get with the comfortable.

A few weeks ago I got news that I’ll be transferring from LA to NY for work (Though I live in SLC, I commute into LA). This news would have had me jumping up and down with glee a couple years ago. Living in NY has been a dream of mine since I began religiously watching Sex and the City at 12. But in Salt Lake, I finally got to build a home for myself. One that I felt warmth, love, and support in, in a place that’s beautiful and peaceful. What more could you want, really?

The thing is: I’ve noticed myself flatlining in Salt Lake. My life is so comfortable that I don’t stir up any change. I’ve become such a homebody, savoring the sweetness of my space and my lover, sitting on my porch and watching the mornings go by. I’m basically eighty years old. All jokes aside, as peaceful as it is, this isn’t all that my soul wants for me right now.

My soul desires an environment that inspires, challenges and excites me so I can develop my talents and creativity. It desires a community of artists, healers, and teachers to offer support on my entrepreneurial journey. It desires an environment where I can be most of service to others.

I know these truths to exist within me, but it’s hard for my mind to jump onboard when I seemingly have something good going already. As good as it is, my heart is too aware of the possibility of something great ahead.

So I took a gamble. I applied for a transfer, putting down SLC as my first choice (which would have made my life oh so easy), and NYC as my second. I told myself that if I got NYC, I would finally move there.

I let the universe decide, and it chose growth.

Now I’m dealing with the repercussions of that decision—the saying goodbye to a phase in life that gave me the opportunity to restore, to rest, and to appreciate the pleasantries of safety and simplicity. I truly have appreciated it, and that’s something that makes it much easier to accept change—when you’ve taken the time to enjoy what’s ultimately a passing phase.

All the details will fall into place, and I guess the thing that gives my mind anxiety is wondering if the right decision has been made. I won’t really know, until I’ve experienced both possibilities. But I do know what I fear the most: the never knowing nor experiencing what could have been.

So here’s to change—to letting it transform you even if you don’t feel ready. Trust your soul is.

Gratitude, Patience and Trust

I’ve been riding a wave since my last newsletter—one of flow, acceptance, and trust. It’s been blissful really, not feeling resistance to where I currently am in life, and enjoying the journey as it unfolds.

When I last wrote, I talked about tapping into the feeling of “freedom,” which is my #1 motivator in life and essential to my well-being and happiness. There were times when I viewed my circumstances as a barrier to freedom, but I’ve been able to change my perspective by tuning into the abundance of freedom I already have. A change of perspective is everything, and in this case, I’ve noticed how much more chill I am about reaching my goals.

It’s not that my ambition has decreased in any way. Simply put, I’m taking the time to smell the roses on the way to where I’d like to eventually be. I’m no longer in a state of rush or frustration because I can tap into whatever it is I want to feel now. There’s less stress and more fun. Less worry about the future and more presence to the beauty of this moment. There’s confidence that this is where I’m supposed to be now, and that it is glorious in its own way.

I call this being in flow. Finally swimming with the stream and not against it.

To boil it down, I’ve found the mindset shift into flow consists of three pillars: gratitude, patience, and trust.

Gratitude for all the blessings and opportunities you currently have.
Patience towards the journey.
And trust that all is unfolding as it should and that your success is inevitable.

I hope that you can enjoy where you are today and have more fun as you make your way towards your desired future.

Goal Setting + Self Love Journeys

Hello friends:

In my last newsletter I mentioned how I was challenging myself to work 10 hours towards my creative projects/side hustle. Last week I began mid-week and accomplished 3.5 hours which was under goal. I had planned on setting time during a long layover at the beach (in between dipping + tanning 😉 ), but was instead rerouted and worked non-stop for three days (oh the joys of working in the airline industry).

Sometimes things don’t go as planned but it’s all about how we react to the unexpected trajectories and perceived “failures.” Most importantly, it’ about the relationship we have with ourselves through it all.

In the past, failing to accomplishing a goal would have made me feel like a loser. Like I wasn’t trying hard enough and that it may not be worth it to continue striving. It would have fed a belief that I’m just not good at consistency or “putting in the work.”

But, I’m choosing a different story now. One of compassion and understanding. I am simply doing my best. The fact that I set aside 3.5 hours for my creative work is a win, specially during my first week of being more intentional about time. And this week—and for the many weeks to come, I have the opportunity to keep working towards those 10 hours in a positive way.

I choose to see this as progress rather than a set back. With that, the weight is removed from my shoulders, I can breathe deeper and continue having fun with this—(may I remind myself)—self imposed challenge.

Instead of not feeling valuable until I create a set amount of work, I can use this “challenge” as a practice of self love + compassion no matter what ❤

Working towards those 10 hours per week is more about the journey than the destination. Just like self love.

I’ll explain:

I used to think self love was a goal to reach, at the end of continual self development and improvement. Each time I thought I had finally reached the most ideal relationship with myself, I would be presented with an emotional challenge that revealed just how much more profound my self love could be; how there was so much more room to love and accept myself— in all the crevices that still carried shame, guilt, emptiness, or whichever emotion manifested the idea of not being enough. It’s a never ending journey with an opportunity for more depth at every moment, whether you’re enduring a high or a low.

I know better now than to think reaching a goal can define me or make me feel more valuable; in other words make me more lovable to myself.

The opportunity to truly love every bit of yourself lies in the journey of it all; which includes the imperfections, the failures and the incessant striving on its own. We have the power to feel enough and loved wherever we’re at, and when we do that, every dream and every goal becomes an added bonus—a fun journey to be had.

Let’s see what we can do, and all that we can accomplish from a place of already being enough.

Love,

Gabriela

Creating Mini Goals

Happy Friday!

I’ve missed writing and connecting with you all! The more time I take away from doing it, the harder it becomes. I start second guessing myself and thinking of reasons why this isn’t the best time to write.

As a creative, I often struggle with the middle ground between creating on my terms and maintaining discipline. I have all these amazing ideas about work I’d like to complete and put out to the world, yet taking consistent action is tough. I like to take things day by day, enjoy the spontaneity of the present moment and simply create when I feel like it or have the energy.

The problem is, I don’t end up taking that much action or bringing my ideas to life. Even though I’m learning on a soul level that productivity does not define my value (I wrote about this previously), I can’t deny that my desire to express and share with the world is a part of my fiber, and brings meaning and purpose to my life. So when life speeds by me and I find I haven’t worked towards my most important goals, I end up feeling frustrated.

Can you relate?

The most effective game plan will push me to get sh*t done while not feeling bogged down by “work.”

I’ve been able to do this effectively with exercise. I always wanted to have a work out routine but never seemed to make time for it. I thought I had to go to a gym or a class and spend at least an hour there, plus the time traveling there and back. This idea didn’t suit my schedule nor was it something I actually wanted to do.

I simplified it so much for myself. For about a month now I’ve been exercising at home (or in my hotel rooms) for just 10-15 minutes a day. I simply lay out my yoga mat, put on an exercise YouTube video to follow along, and knock it out. My body thanks me for it and I end up feeling accomplished every time because I’ve set myself up for success.

When I have an exceptionally early start to the day or feel exhausted, I skip out on it and pick it back up the next day, without attaching any guilt to it. I try to listen to my body and respect when it just needs sleep or rest.

I can happily say I’ve made working out part of my routine, even if this is simply a baby step, though I actually don’t feel the need or desire to push myself to do more right now.

What I’d like to work on now is making my creative projects a part of my weekly routine. I’m challenging myself to work 10 hours a week on my “side hustle.” 10 hours seems like a doable goal, yet it will also push me to potentially create a lot more than I have before. Having a weekly goal instead of a daily one also allows the wiggle room to simply relax some days.

Tracking the time I work on my projects and watching each hour chip away at my weekly goal is both motivating and encouraging.

If you’re in a similar boat and know that there are some areas in your life where you want to start seeing progress, try this out with me.

How can you create mini goals towards your desired outcome?

It’s important to also treat this as an experiment and have fun, while not feeling bad about yourself if for some reason the mini goals are too much and you need to scale back a little.

It’s all about collecting data and figuring out what works for you.

Let’s support one another on this journey. I’d love to hear about what you’re working on and whether this resonated with you.

Love always,

Gabriela

Protecting the Vibe

Hey lovelies:

Hope you’ve had a beautiful week thus far. I felt inspired to write the past few days because I’m coming to understand a lesson that is so vital, and which I wanted to share with you:

Things don’t have to align perfectly or according to plan in order for you to feel good.

My first month as a flight attendant has taught me a lot about protecting my energy regardless of circumstances. As exciting as it’s been, I’ve also experienced disappointment and frustration at times.

I love to travel and explore more than just about anything and of course that was a huge determinant for choosing this career. Ironically, I was assigned to work many “turns” the first month. A turn means I go somewhere and come right back, without stepping foot off the plane. Each time I was scheduled one of these, I felt my soul die a little.

I wanted so badly to see these destinations, to feel the freedom of walking through new streets, and take part in the adventure of new sights, smells and foods. I wanted to jump into this new career and experience as much as possible, as quickly as possible, but patience. is. a. virtue.

Anyways, last time I was assigned a turn to Honolulu and I’d been itching so bad to see Hawaii! Not only was I disappointment I wouldn’t explore—frankly, I was angry this would be something like a 14 hour day. In my mind I was clearly a victim to these unjust circumstances!

That morning though, I knew my attitude was setting me up to have a potentially terrible (long) day. I decided I was going to have fun at work regardless of where I was going. I put my make up on, felt extra cute and headed to the employee lounge to chill before my flight. I ended up meeting a genuinely kind and friendly man who’s been working as a flight attendant for thirty-something years.

That decision I made in the morning to feel good, plus the friendly conversation, created a snowball effect for the rest of the day. I was upbeat and extroverted when I met my crew and one of them said that man had told her she was going to love me. I just felt grateful.

Work was fun that day, and even when I was tired I had great conversation with the crew and appreciated the chillness of the passengers. Some would call this the law of attraction — your outer world reflects your inner vibration. So because I was in a space of joy, my day panned out smoothly and positively.

What was key in keeping my vibration high, was not getting bent up about things “not going my way” and deciding to have fun anyways. (Side note: I’m starting to think life is always going our way; it’s just our opinion of what “the way” should look like that’s causing frustration and pain).

Anyways, I’m still practicing “protecting my energy/vibe” day by day, specially when it comes to interacting with others. I realize how high I set the bar for people, even strangers. I often expect others to be very friendly, and when they’re not I have a negative reaction to it (another example of things “not going my way”).

When this happens, we can catch ourselves and become witnesses to our internal process. We can decide that our energy is too important and too special to be negatively affected by others or by situations outside of our control. It’s simply too volatile to constantly react.

Anytime throughout the day we can stop and remind ourselves of what we’d like to feel, and that we have the power to have fun, anyways.

Love,

Gabriela

Reasons to Love or Hate a Place

Good Morning, Friends!

It’s a beautiful morning in Salt Lake City. The snow really came down last night and the trees and houses are lined white and glittering in the sunlight.

It’s views like this that make me appreciate it here, because—it truly is beautiful.

Living here though, (and living anywhere, really) is not always easy. From my experience residing in various cities and countries, each place comes with a list of pros and cons.

The other day, I found my frustrations with Salt Lake City growing. I didn’t feel free here because I don’t own a car and am nervous about driving.

It was easy to get around San Francisco (I didn’t even get my license until I was 26). But relying on the bus, my legs (and the occasional uber and lyft) to get me places here is not always easy (or cheap) —specially in the winter.

The other night I missed my bus stop on my way home from work, and was dropped off about a mile away at the next stop. I was bummed, hungry, and freezing, when I saw a Sonics at the corner of the street.

I thought, “this is the time to get some fast food guilt-free.” To my horror, it was solely a drive-through Sonics (are all Sonics like that? Idk) There was no option to order or eat inside, because the small building at the center of the lot was for employees only.

So, I had to stand next to one of the ordering kiosks outside, and yell out my order while it was 20 something degrees out. I must admit, it was pretty funny and I even made an instagram story about it. I had to laugh at the situation a little.

After my order came out, my hands were awkwardly full, when a man approached me and asked me for some money. I offered him a dollar, but was seriously struggling to reach into my bag to grab it. His friend noticed my struggle, and came by to dismiss me, ordering, “You go on home now with your bags. We don’t need your dollar!” as they walked back to their car.

I dropped some of my food in the snow as I waddled out of there, and by the time I got home my fingers were burning from the cold and I was genuinely concerned I might get frost bite?

It was one of those days that made me hate Salt Lake City. Walking home I went through a long list of reasons not to like it here. There’s no proper public transportation, the streets are too long, it revolves around car culture, State St. is so sketchy, there’s no good affordable food etc.

All this to demonstrate that if you’re looking for reasons to hate a place, or a situation, it is so easy to come up with them! I even kept going with my list until the next day, and let me tell you—it ruined that day, too.

The good news is, it can be just as easy to find things to love about a place or situation. If you think you can’t, start very small and watch that list grow and grow.

Things I love about Salt Lake: How there’s usually parking when we go out, the spaciousness of it, the cute little coffee and retail shops a couple blocks away, the epic mountains, the proximity to beautiful nature, my lovely neighbors, our cute house, etc.

I usually choose to see the good in things, and practice gratitude on a daily basis, but I also fall prey to negative thinking and frustration. And that’s when I have to check myself and adjust my perspective.

In this situation, I also evaluated what was in my control and what wasn’t. I can’t control the transportation system here, but I can adapt by driving. I started practicing again yesterday, and it wasn’t as scary as I thought it would be. It was actually pretty fun when I released the resistance to it. I can already feel how it will drastically change my experience here.

When in Salt Lake, do as the Salt Lakers do.