Beginner’s Mindset

Hey guys!

I recently felt inspired and made a Youtube video for the first time in 9 months.

I started a Youtube channel three years ago, while I was still living in Vietnam. At the time I was close to finishing my teaching contract and was unsure of what my next step in life would be, but was considering teaching in another country.

As part of my research I watched tons of videos about people’s experiences abroad to give me an idea of what living in other places might be like. It was then that I realized I had something to offer: my very own experience of Vietnam.

I didn’t have a proper camera, or a mic. I simply recorded on my laptop and spoke. Back then I didn’t even know how to edit videos, so I when I messed up the first couple minutes I had to start over again. After that I didn’t over think it, and just spoke about my experience. That video ended up being the most popular on my channel by far, with over 100k views to date.

Once I started to learn how to edit videos I got fancier with the quality and more demanding with myself about how they should look. Although I definitely had some fun creating them, they eventually started to feel like work. When I went back to basics, just me in front of the camera speaking my truth, I felt like it wasn’t good enough. I had so many mixed emotions about making videos. On one hand I had some success gaining viewers and subscribers and if felt rewarding to connect with others and create a video from start to finish. Yet, I was overly critical of myself which led me to “giving up” for some time. I figured if I I didn’t have the energy or will to do it near perfectly and consistently, I minus well not do it at all.

I happened to check on my channel the other day and noticed I had gained a number of new subscribers during my hiatus. It’s funny because I wasn’t trying to grow my channel, just as I had gone into my first video with zero expectation. I was inspired to go back to my beginner’s mindset and start over in a sense, without demanding too much of myself and having fun. 
I was nervous at first, over thinking my words and stumbling over them. My perfectionist mind kept wanting to sound eloquent and hit all the points I was trying to make. It wasn’t polished but it came together after some editing. It was a step in the right direction because I finally put myself out there again in an imperfect way and with acceptance of that imperfection. I simply felt like sharing insights without demanding it look a certain way.

The video is titled “Goal Setting and Self Compassion” and hits on themes I’ve talked about in the last few Weekly Motivations, just expressed differently. If you’d like to check it out and/or subscribe to my channel head here.

What I’d like for you to take away from this is that if you feel like sharing something, making something or being something but are feeling stuck due to perfectionism and over thinking, bring back the curiosity and playfulness of doing it for the first time. Let go of your own demands and need for it to look a certain way, and trust the process. Focus on having fun and let the chips fall where they may. If you stumble like I did, take a deep breath and remind yourself that the world doesn’t need any more “perfect,” it needs more You, doing what you love.

Born to Express

Lately I’ve been thinking about the things I enjoy most about my coaching endeavor. You think i’d be coaching itself, but it’s actually been writing this blog and my weekly newsletters lately.

I never know what I’m going to write about until I’m in front of my laptop (just like today). I enjoy seeing the magic of my thoughts and experiences unfolding onto the page.

It’s funny how I’m coming back around to this passion I’ve had since I was seven and started writing short stories in class. I identified so much with being a “writer” for years until I realized later in life that I wanted to be so many other things, too.

It’s always been difficult for me to hone in on one thing I want to pursue head-on. When I found coaching I thought: This is it. I am a life coach. And then, wearing that label became heavy, too. I wanted to be so much more than that. I wanted my other passions to have an outlet, too. But everyone seemed to echo that you need to focus on one thing at a time in order to be successful. Each time I try to do that, I end up rebelling, tearing off whatever label has been holding me back from expressing different parts of myself.

Maybe that’s why I’m savoring my time writing now. Because it goes beyond being a “coach.” Because it sat on the back-burner for so long, aching for a voice and some time to be expressed.

I’d like to honor all those different parts of me that are waiting for permission to experience and create. Maybe I don’t need to be anything, maybe I was just born to express.