Your Passion Isn’t Always Easy

Hi, friends!

I was reading someone else’s newsletter yesterday where they mentioned how writers don’t particularly like writing as much as having written. I couldn’t relate more. Sometimes the process of actually sitting down and doing the work can feel excruciating. “What do I even talk about?” and “what’s the best way to communicate that with my readers?” are some of the bigger ideas I ponder. And once I have the ideas out on paper, it’s a process of nit-picking at words to make those ideas sound beautiful.

Writing makes me question the saying: “Do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.” It’s a beautiful sentiment but I don’t always find it to be true. I think — the more you love something, the more involved in it you become, the more you ultimately want to work at that thing and are willing to go through the growing pains of evolving and becoming better at it — even when it isn’t easy.

Oftentimes it takes work. One of the biggest misconceptions about practicing your passion is that it should always feel good or be effortless. Sometimes you may have to fight with yourself to do it. The world is filled with temptations and distractions, all beckoning you not to do the work.

At this point in the newsletter, I’ve checked my phone a few times, gone to the bathroom, and starred longingly out my window. It often takes me hours to prepare these newsletters — not just because I get distracted, but because there’s a lot of effort that goes into them.

Yet, that feeling of having created something beyond me through words, and having the pleasure of sharing that with you is always worth it. Especially when I hear that you resonated with it or it inspired you. The “why” when it comes to doing what we love is what will keep us coming back to it, even when it’s so much easier to turn away and watch Netflix or something.

If you’ve been reading my newsletters for a while, you might recall how I went through a lot of different stages and challenges with staying creative and productive. I’ve taken breaks from creating, have come up with productivity challenges, attempted to redefine what it means to “work” so as to make it more fun — and simply waited for inspiration to strike.

While it’s perfectly normal for inspiration to ebb and flow, solely relying on a revelation to take action can be a cop-out. At least I’m recognizing where it has been for me. This idea that it should always be easy just isn’t true.

Sometimes this newsletter is the last thing I want to do, but once I begin to write and get into the flow — and especially once it’s finished — I feel a unique sense of accomplishment and relief.

Lately I’ve been working on a project that’s taking a lot more time and effort than I initially thought it was going to. But the eagerness to accomplish this thing and get it out to the world is far greater than my desire to check-out and chill.

I’ve come to a point where I can appreciate and participate in the actual grit it takes to expand into your calling. Showing up day after day, learning, and doing my best is the only way forward. The dedication itself actually is the inspiration I was looking for.

And when that isn’t enough, we can always find inspiration in the larger reason for attempting in the first place (the “why.”)

Being self-disciplined is not always in my nature, but the longing for freedom is. Freedom from a 9–5, from lackluster, from any restrictions on my desired lifestyle, and most importantly — from my own conceived notions of “what’s possible” — that’s something I’m willing to work for.

xxGabriela

A Journey Calls | Poem

There are

a million questions

spread across the sky,

yet down here

we look

to the glimmering

The pale moon sits still

while hands on the clock

no longer feel

Can we be taken

to the warmth

of the very beginning?

Inside, a hollow tide,

Reverberates a deepening

“Why?”

A journey calls

promising home,

an end to the

palpable alone

I walk to where the stars

mark the broken miles,

Each mountain passed

is God’s promise

in a pile

Take me to where the itch stops,

to where

Winter can’t reach me

at the bones

Searching in the dark,

we crawl or we march

For the glimmer

within our soul

Social Distancing. Wisdom & Creativity

Despite the social distancing happening right now, there have been moments I’ve felt a greater connection to all, as we collectively experience history in the making. There have also been moments where the isolation feels gloomy, and the desire to physically gather is palpable.

As we feel the world halt and change, we are all in some way, being pushed up against or totally outside of our comfort zones, forcing us to adapt, and thereby, to grow. This moment has taken us on a self-development journey whether we like it or not, as we face ourselves and face society in new ways. It’s powerful.

I pray that the lessons learned from this chapter will better our world in some way as we better ourselves. And as an eternal optimist, that is what I choose to believe. My personal coping mechanism to life, grief, and uncertainty is to mold the fuck out of it. To see a challenge as a way to practice what I’ve learned. Each experience can be alchemized into medicine if we let it.

My medicine lately has been learning to accept where I’m at each and every day; whether I want to be a sad (or happy) couch potato, or finally finish projects long overdue. I’ve been practicing listening to the desires of my body and intuition, the way I often listen to my mind without question.

There is a new gentleness in that, a new adventure. My body has been loving early bedtimes and daily exercise. I’ve never been a runner but I started jogging around the park regularly, and have fallen in love with it.

I relish the fresh air as it infiltrates my lungs, an accelerated heartbeat, and the sensation of my feet bouncing on the wood chips along the track as it brings me closer to the finish line.

And sometimes, it just wants unadulterated rest — sweatpants, snacks, and movies.

As for my intuition, I’ve been tuning into its guidance to decide what activities to partake in throughout the day. Lately it’s been a lot of cooking. I’m enjoying expressing my creativity within the boundaries of resourcefulness, using only what I have available to make beautiful meals.

And I suppose that’s a metaphor for this experience, and generally, for life. We use what we’re given. It’s through creativity, and the intention to make something beautiful, that we find the nurturing we need.

What are you cooking up?

Life-Design

Hello again, friends!

I missed you last week but it was essential for me to pause and simply be. My grandmother recently passed away and I needed time to sit with the news, to reconnect with family, and finally — to rest.

With the news of my grandmother’s passing, everything was put on hold for a little, as feelings demanded to be felt and surrendered to. The grieving process is a strange one, with unpredictable waves of peace, then disbelief, mixed in with pangs of sorrow that hit you out of nowhere. I’m not sure that I can (or ever) will fully comprehend the totality of losing someone you love, or of the sureness of death. We fall for forever every time, despite knowing that death is natural and will happen to us all — and generally, to our grandparents sooner rather than later. Still, it catches you off guard.

I wasn’t planning on fully delving into grief today. I wanted more so to connect on the issue of time. But the process of losing someone reawakened something in me. This need to be the observer in my life again — to take a step back, to reassess, and rebuild.

I’m recognizing more and more how the feeling of being constantly rushed, along with my own expectations of productivity had a hold of me, even though there was no need for the acute intensity of it all. Sure, the energy of modern life is quick and easy to become submerged in — but I have more control of my experience with time and productivity than I initially thought.

Life-Design:

Something I’m deeply passionate about is what I like to call “life design.” To me, it means being boldly intentional about our goals and desires and creating our own individual blueprint for how we want our lives to look like. Each person’s values and personality are unique, and the way the different facets of our lives come together (our careers, relationships, and schedules to name a few) should reflect that as best as possible.

If we’re not consciously aware of our own desires and value systems, it’s easy to fall into societal conditioning and give into that gnawing pressure to do this or that on some sort of timeline — whether it be marrying by a certain age, or striving for a version of “success” you may not even agree upon.

The point of life design is to determine your own definition of success and of a good life. Not society’s. Not your family’s, nor your friends. It poses you to determine what is of most value to you, and to consider what you’re willing to do in order to reshape the way you structure your time and energy according to those values.

Part of my own journey has involved shedding what others expected of me — particularly the pressures I felt most strongly from my grandmother to succumb to a type of life I didn’t want to live.

In grandma’s ideal reality, I would’ve been a doctor, an accountant, or worked in any sort of office, honestly. Something conventional and easy to define. (She never understood what “life coaching” was, and I stopped trying to explain). I also would’ve been married to a handsome prince (literally, a prince) and stayed close to home, forever.

But my wild soul was stubborn and loud, and I answered its call, which took me around the globe, searching searching searching for my own version of a good life. Most of the time, that just meant freedom. Freedom to travel, to explore, and to be on a creative path. It then evolved to finding my purpose and turning my passions into a living, which is what I’m currently working on.

But the striving became too tiring. I demanded a lot of myself on a daily basis, struggled with comparison, and became worn out. Luckily, I didn’t fully burn-out, but I suspect I was headed there. This pace became my norm, my auto-pilot — until recently.

Every so often, life calls for a re-design.

These days, I am working on appreciating time. Not being so quick to spend it on accomplishing task after task, but really sulking in the moments. It looks like:

Giving myself the space to enjoy the process. Focusing on one thing at a time, and delving into one fraction of a project at once. Meditating for longer, allowing myself to do things for fun, or simply relishing in a cup of coffee or the way the sunshine feels on my skin after a long winter. It was a decision to redefine success as the enjoyment of the little moments that make up a day; a lifetime.

The days feel longer, with more profound focus, and there’s been a birthing of new ideas. Overall, it’s a better relationship with myself and with time. I can breathe, and remember that it was never a race to begin with, it was more like a road trip headed home.

xxGabriela

Simplifying Into 2020

Winter is in full bloom in New York yet I’m still very happy to be here. Just the other day I was in Puerto Rico for work, contemplating whether I should move abroad somewhere sunny near the water, and though nothing is really off the table for me, I know that I am in the right place at the right time now.

I’ve been melting into some sweet time off, refusing to fly anywhere else. It’s nice to feel as though I actually live in this great city and to enjoy the pleasantries of ordinary life — my own bed, in my little brick-walled room, taking the subway to different parts of the city, writing at my go-to coffee shop, and meeting with friends! Shout out to my supportive friend Ali, who just moved here and made my world a little brighter, too! 🙂

Traveling a ton and not really having an ordinary life (whatever that really means) has increased my gratitude for simplicities — but above all, for the sensation of being grounded in a place and in myself. Routine and familiarity can be really good for the soul. I think we just need to be aware of becoming complacent & overly comfortable with something that isn’t serving us. That is when we reassess & rearrange. Despite our trying though, life is always in flux, so we will eventually need to adapt ~ and that keeps things exciting.

As you might tell, themes of stability, grounding, and simplicity have been flowing through my mind lately. (My last newsletter was about revisiting core needs — check it out here if you haven’t read it).

Sometimes life gets complicated, our minds run wild, and worry and anxiety can take hold. For me, it often manifests as this sensation of “being all over the place.” When this happens, I’ve found it helpful to sink into some routines: journaling, exercise, cooking, and sleeping at consistent times, to name a few. They remind me to lean into the moment and into the day with steady ease. They ensure I am taken care of before tackling any tasks.

I’ve noticed that lot of my stress and anxiety comes from thinking “I’m not doing enough.” It’s the never-ending “to do list,” a large appetite for creative expression, and the drive to succeed and achieve that both inspires and drives me crazy.

I don’t want to lose the spark to create, but I also want to make life easier for myself, so I’m choosing to come into 2020 with some renewed simplicity.

I recently watched a video by Sorelle called “Work Less and Achieve More” which resonated and inspired me to share some insights with you. In the video she talks about how our society is obsessed with constantly “doing” and when we scale back and actually do less, we can create with more passion, and subsequently, more impact.

These are some ways you can scale back at the end of 2019 & into 2020 in order to support your physical and mental health and ultimately create more joy and impact with the work you do/make. Of course, feel free to create your own list and to adjust as needed 🙂

When it comes to the “to do list”: remove the shit that you’re never going to do/ don’t really have to do. Just.Let.It.Go. Prioritize and set forth three main tasks for the day. If inspiration and creativity call, do that. Have fun.
Prioritize what consistently makes you feel good. Pump your energy into it. For me it’s writing. Despite having interest in other things, like making videos, or podcasts — writing is just what feels most natural and cathartic to me, so that’ll come #1.
Listen to your body. It knows what you need. Rest? Movement? Play? Nourishing food? It’ll let you know if you tune in.
Before starting something new, ask yourself: “What is my intention behind doing this?” Is it out of joy, service, passion, or because it’ll make you feel more worthy and loved? Know that you are inherently loved/beautiful/complete/ beyond measure and nothing can make you any more or any less.

Let me know what you think and how you choose to simplify before 2020.

Alchemizing into Flow State

It’s my day off but really that just means a day to focus on my purpose. Lately, I’ve been super intentional about my time. I use it to heal, to grow, and most importantly — to create. 🙂

It’s blissful to finally be in the groove with my soul’s work. You guys have witnessed my ups and downs with productivity; fighting and eventually coming to terms with the lulls in my creativity. I finally managed to surrender and rest. And through that journey, I came out on the other side, to this highly inspired chapter. I can’t lie — though I honor all of my seasons, the season of “doing” is my favorite.

I’ve been bursting with inspiration and actually taking action on it. I can’t do everything at once, but I have a solid list I’m working towards. Each day that I’m not at my job, or each morning that I’m free, I’m happily chipping away at those projects. I’ve been reflecting lately on what I went through to finally reach this flow state.

I took time to rest, to sit back as ideas moved through me that I couldn’t find the words for. I critiqued myself for not producing, and learned to love myself harder through that. I became deeply frustrated with my day job and looked for ways out that didn’t align with my purpose. I had some trauma resurface. I fell, diving head first into my calling.

I didn’t really have a choice, because creating is what I need to heal. That is how I know this is my purpose. Because through this work I make sense of things, bring light to my own darkness, and hopefully inspire you to seek within as well.

The only way out is through. And as I navigate some difficulties with the goal of alchemizing them into something useful and beautiful, I naturally realign. By that I mean: I remember who the fuck I am. I am a creator, and so are you.

Each season has a purpose. Each feeling matters. Each experience is a teacher. May we continue to alchemize them into something beautiful — whatever that means for you.

xxGabriela

Latest Work:

Video: My Breathwork Experience

In this video I talk about my experience with breathwork (thus far). I have tried doing it with an online course, and recently in a class format. I share my current experience with some troubling emotions & how breathwork has helped me. I also discuss why it’s important to tune into our bodies and to process our feelings.

Also available on the Freedom-Based Living podcast via anchor or anywhere else podcasts are found.

Watch

Ep. 18: Appreciating the Journey

In this podcast I talk about how we can appreciate where we currently are in life. Constantly chasing success can sometimes cause us to lose touch with the gifts of the present. I offer some advice on how to get in touch with where we are today.

Listen

Tipping the Scale

I recently recorded a podcast about creativity, intuition, and co-creating with higher source.

It was inspired by a desire to express my creativity in different forms. While I have a little routine down of writing and making videos, my intuition led me to see what other ways I could share my message, and I was called to try podcasting again, which felt very fluid and free.

It’s good to step out of our comfort zones as creatives, to play, and to not be so rigid with our work and ourselves. As I have shared, I’m working on dropping the strict demands I have on myself to create a certain type of content on schedule (when it isn’t feeling good or aligned), and to let my work feel energizing and fun!

I would like to explore what it means to be a “hard worker” in a much different way. To view my projects as “play” and as a time to connect with higher source, using my passions as a form of mediation. Perhaps by tipping the scale in this playful direction, I will actually find balance between freedom and tangible results.

It’s a process that requires intuition, self-compassion, enthusiasm, and drive.

If you yourself are a creative, or are just curious about exploring your own intuition when it comes to creating or making decisions, then check out the podcast here.

Align to That Which You Seek

Today I’d like to invite you to challenge the way you were taught to seek happiness, or whatever feeling it is you desire to find.

We grew up believing that we needed things, experiences, accomplishments, and even people to make us feel happy, validated, and complete. We chased titles/careers, material wealth, and relationships only to find another ladder to climb at the end of each goal completed. Have you noticed that the seeking never really ends? You can get what you really wanted and shortly after, feel like there’s something else to reach for in order to be fully satisfied.

Becoming a flight attendant was a goal I really wanted to accomplish not too long ago. I begged the universe to help me land this opportunity and worked my butt off preparing for the interviews. I thought this job would be the perfect addition to my life; that I would no longer feel “lost,” or “stuck” and be set free with the opportunity to travel.

Yet, once I got it, it was entirely too easy to focus on the problems and difficulties within the industry. That “stuck” feeling continued to haunt me despite having obtained what I thought was the answer. I felt confined by my schedule and all the time away from home, and when I was in a place I really enjoyed, it was tainted with the sadness of having to leave shortly after.

These were some of the reasons not to be happy yet. And that’s when I realized I was in a perpetual state of suffering: always wanting more or something different in order to feel free.

Freedom is one of my most important values, the motivation behind so many life decisions, and what I always seem to be chasing.

But I decided that if I were to lead a fulfilled life, I would have to put an end to the never-ending chase and tap into all the ways that I’m already free. A.k.a.“align with the vibration of freedom.” When I talk about aligning to a vibration, what I mean is getting into the state of your desired feeling, in order to attract that which we want in life (Law of Attraction).

I pulled out my journal and started a list of different ways I’m free, discovering so much I’d taken for granted. I’m free to consume the books/films/music I choose; I’m free to dress how I want, I’m free to journal and mediate, I’m free to laugh and play. On a larger scale, I have total creative freedom (like writing this newsletter and making videos) which is so so valuable to me. Plus my job does allow me to travel and see the people I love around the world, which is the closest thing to teleporting I can get right now.

I was so taken aback by the incredible amount of ways I’m already free. I sat with that appreciation and let it light me up. It felt like I could finally ease into the adventure of this very moment. I could finally perceive how everything was flowing naturally and working out for me.

Since then, my attitude towards work has totally changed and in turn, I’m having more fun on a daily basis. I am finally sitting back, enjoying the journey, and appreciating the gifts picked up along the way.

It’s human to have this insatiable thirst for more; to believe that something else has the key to our happiness and completion. But as we grow, we learn to find that which we seek is already in our hands. We have the power of emotion and of perception, which once cultivated and tweaked can shape how we experience our reality.

And in my reality, I am finally free. How about yours?

Creative Blocks and Comparison

Hey friends:

I’m back with a topic for my fellow creators and creatives out there who may be feeling blocked or weighed down from the pressure to create.

Recently I experienced a lot of internal pressure to write, to make videos etc. for the sake of consistency, and fueled by comparison. There are people online who I follow and admire that constantly create and it’s so easy to feel like I’m falling short sometimes when I compare myself. My body and mind truly needed rest after working so much, and I was having trouble admitting that some days are better than others when it comes to creativity and productivity and that I have my own process and journey to go through when it comes to creating that can’t be compared.

If you can relate and struggle with some of the same things, I made a video yesterday that covers how we can move through feeling stuck in our creative blocks, embrace the process and honor our own individual methods and ways of creating.

You can check it out here:

I’m happy to report that I’m more inspired and in flow now because I gave myself the time to feel, to introspect and to share the lessons learned without overthinking it.

Hope it’s helpful, I would love to hear your thoughts on this topic!

Love,

Gabriela

Beginner’s Mindset

Hey guys!

I recently felt inspired and made a Youtube video for the first time in 9 months.

I started a Youtube channel three years ago, while I was still living in Vietnam. At the time I was close to finishing my teaching contract and was unsure of what my next step in life would be, but was considering teaching in another country.

As part of my research I watched tons of videos about people’s experiences abroad to give me an idea of what living in other places might be like. It was then that I realized I had something to offer: my very own experience of Vietnam.

I didn’t have a proper camera, or a mic. I simply recorded on my laptop and spoke. Back then I didn’t even know how to edit videos, so I when I messed up the first couple minutes I had to start over again. After that I didn’t over think it, and just spoke about my experience. That video ended up being the most popular on my channel by far, with over 100k views to date.

Once I started to learn how to edit videos I got fancier with the quality and more demanding with myself about how they should look. Although I definitely had some fun creating them, they eventually started to feel like work. When I went back to basics, just me in front of the camera speaking my truth, I felt like it wasn’t good enough. I had so many mixed emotions about making videos. On one hand I had some success gaining viewers and subscribers and if felt rewarding to connect with others and create a video from start to finish. Yet, I was overly critical of myself which led me to “giving up” for some time. I figured if I I didn’t have the energy or will to do it near perfectly and consistently, I minus well not do it at all.

I happened to check on my channel the other day and noticed I had gained a number of new subscribers during my hiatus. It’s funny because I wasn’t trying to grow my channel, just as I had gone into my first video with zero expectation. I was inspired to go back to my beginner’s mindset and start over in a sense, without demanding too much of myself and having fun.

I was nervous at first, over thinking my words and stumbling over them. My perfectionist mind kept wanting to sound eloquent and hit all the points I was trying to make. It wasn’t polished but it came together after some editing. It was a step in the right direction because I finally put myself out there again in an imperfect way and with acceptance of that imperfection. I simply felt like sharing insights without demanding it look a certain way.

The video is titled “Goal Setting and Self Compassion” and hits on themes I’ve talked about in the last few Weekly Motivations, just expressed differently. If you’d like to check it out and/or subscribe to my channel head here.

What I’d like for you to take away from this is that if you feel like sharing something, making something or being something but are feeling stuck due to perfectionism and over thinking, bring back the curiosity and playfulness of doing it for the first time. Let go of your own demands and need for it to look a certain way, and trust the process. Focus on having fun and let the chips fall where they may. If you stumble like I did, take a deep breath and remind yourself that the world doesn’t need any more “perfect,” it needs more You, doing what you love.