Sometimes I worry that I’ll end up unsuccessful and broke. Do I really believe that? No; but I’m programmed to think worry is a natural reaction to the uncertainties of being an entrepreneur.
I grew up with a single mother, who–naturally, worried and stressed about money, and with a grandmother who achieved financial security through hard work and controlled spending. I learned that to be a responsible, safe adult, I have to have a reliable source of income, save, and spend sparingly.
Quite frankly, I’m doing the opposite of that right now. I don’t know when or how my next earnings will show up, and I’m living off savings to invest time on pursuing my dreams. Nothing is certain, except for the faith I have in myself, which can sometimes feel…odd.
Anybody else in my shoes would be worried, I sometimes think; so I let the worry creep in in order to feel “normal.” During these moments, I worry about how my business will pan out, if I’m spending too much, and whether I’m crazy.
But, I’m beginning to realize that the worry isn’t even mine. I’ve taken on the worry that my family feels, and the worry I assume a normal person in my situation would feel.
It reminds me of when I decided to move to Vietnam for a year. I’d never been before and I didn’t speak any Vietnamese, so when I told people about my plans to move there, some reacted surprised and concerned. They expected me to be scared, but I wasn’t. I had faith in myself.
Was I crazy, then? I’d question. Maybe I should be scared, I thought, so I tried it on. I told someone I was scared about my move just to see how the words felt, and they responded, “I’d be worried if you weren’t.”
Maybe we live in a world that’s more understanding of worry and fear versus faith and belief in ourselves. From my experience, one is more normal than the other.
I’m learning to own my faith and use it as a critical tool in moving forward with my goals. I have to accept that I may be misunderstood in that, and that sometimes others will express their loving concerns; but I don’t have to take on their doubts as my own. If to them it means I’m living in the clouds, so be it. Life’s more fun up here, where anything is possible.
Freedom-Based Living 
I love this post! Doubt and worry was taught to me at a young age, I believe as a result of the trauma my single mother experienced from being abandoned by the man that brought her to the US. She worked three jobs and I rarely spent time with her, and I understand she feared I would face the same hardships. But we all face hardship, even those who plan and save well. And we all experience trauma, even those who are well off financially. What’s amazing about you is how you fearlessly proceed and will not accept anything less than the life you desire to live.
You are healthy, you have a home, you have family and friends, a partner, you have a multitude of experiences to reflect on and share. You are wise. These things are far more valuable than material wealth.
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